Sunday, October 21, 2018

Sunday Five: Lets Get Physical


A law professor friend of mine has been writing about including directions about sex in advance directives - in other words if I develop dementia what is it okay for my lover to do?  It is an interesting concept - it also bumps up against the law and when contact without ongoing consent becomes a crime - a felony - just ask Bill Cosby. This is important, because others, family members and care staff in long term care tend to freak out if someone with dementia has physical contact with another person.  And each person's likes and dislikes are different.  This is kind of out there on the cutting edge of law and social policy, maybe a good area to try a Sunday five and see what you all think.

If you are unable to say what you want, would you want:
1: To be kissed?
2: To be hugged?
3: To be held?
4: To have your back rubbed?
5: To have your hand held?

My answers:
1: To be kissed?  By my sweet bear - yes; by others maybe a peck on the cheek, but all to often this leaves a strange smell - especially of the person is wearing makeup, I find the smell irritating.  
2: To be hugged? Yes, I am a hugger. 
3: To be held?  Yes, but not for too long, 4 or 5 minutes and I start to feel confined. 
4: To have your back rubbed?  Yes, oh god yes! 
5: To have your hand held?  Only briefly, I have never been big on handholding - (I could have fun in therapy unpacking the origins of this one.) 

Your answers in the comments?


6 comments:

  1. no to all of them. spouse & I are meeting with a lawyer on 10/29 to get new wills/PoA/advance directives created. I shall include this topic.

    LOVE the towel; made me snort!

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    1. Carebear, you scared me with the "meeting with a lawyer" thing. Just for a second, until I read the rest :)

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  2. 1. Depends on if tongues are involved or not. If not, sure.
    2. Hugging's fine. Since marriage, I've become a hug whore.
    3. Held yes, boa constricted, no.
    4. Not if Balder Half is doing the rubbing. He tries to push my spine into my stomach.
    5. Held, not squeezed.

    There is a joke in our house that I will be dead for three days before anyone is called. Balder Half will then be arrested on charges of necrophilia.

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  3. I’m very particular on all counts.

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  4. I'll have to remember all this...

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