I never know what to say when others are hurting. The old standard of "I am so sorry" only really works, if I am the reason that caused the hurt. "Let me know if there is anything I can do" is often hollow for two reasons people don't know what they want or need and even if they ask, can I help? I often say, it will all be okay in the long run, and it generally is, but not always. I have learned that saying "I know just how you feel" is not true, even if I have been through something similar, my feelings are different than your feelings.
I often assure the person that they are good, they are loved, that their feelings are okay. I think we all need to be reminded of this regularly.
When we are hurt we need to take care of ourselves. Neglecting or being hard on the self when you are hurt, only makes it worse.
Hurt takes time to heal, how much time I don't know. Seldom does hurt heal overnight (or on two days of bereavement leave.)
I encourage people to take time and take care of them self, but I doubt that most really know what I really mean by this.
So I stumble forward, wishing that bad things didn't happen to good people, but knowing that bad things will happen. Into every life some rain must fall. I am still trying to remember to go dancing in the rain.
If you dance in the rain, dont forget your rubbers dear.
ReplyDeleteI know just how you feel :) I always tell Balder Half (because he usually doesn't hear me, or listen the first ten times) that I just need somebody to talk to, not to fix it. Sometimes if you see a need that you can fill, just fill it without asking, if you know the person well that is. Hugs work for me. I suck at helping but I tell my friends if they need anything, call me and I'll find somebody to help :)
ReplyDeleteDancing in the rain can bring on a severe cold, and then you'd need the help.
ask if you can just listen to the person. tell them you are there for them to talk. hugs are important. also "I like you just the way you are, you are special" (mister rogers advice).
ReplyDeleteFunny isn't it? This is so common you would think by now we would know what to say viz. seeing someone in pain/sorrow and we look for words to give some comfort and all we come up with are lame and useless ones.
ReplyDeleteExcellent article. Very interesting to read. I really love to read such a nice article. Thanks! keep rocking. https://medium.com/@traveld/ba-flight-delay-compensation-8a8ea46697bd
ReplyDeleteIt is imperative that we read blog post very carefully. I am already done it and find that this post is really amazing. https://entfernungkm.com/
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for the sharing! COOL.. السياحة في طرابزون
ReplyDeleteI wanted to thank you for this great read!! Houston to Austin I definitely enjoying every little bit of it I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post.
ReplyDelete