Sometimes we stand out, sometimes we blend in. We have some control over this, how much contrast do we present to our background, how much do we try to look and sound and act like our background. There are times when we want to stand out, when we are trying to sell ourselves, for a job, a team, a club, standing out from the crowd is important. Other times we don't want to stand out, when we are afraid of being noticed. Sometimes I am the cat in the window on the right, sometimes I am the cat in the left window.
As a gay man, there are times when I want to fly my flag proudly and be noticed, and other times when I don't. I can pass if I try, at least I think I can. The older I get, the less I care what other's think of me, the more I don't mind standing out from the crowd. Self acceptance takes a lot of work. It took me years to accept myself, , I am happy with myself and have less need for the acceptance or approval of others.
If we obsess about what others think of us, it distracts from our ability to be ourselves. I can't live the life of another, why should I let them impact how I live my life. If I blend what others think into the background, it allows me to focus on myself. There are a couple of billion people on the earth, why should I let a few stand out from the background and influence how I live?