Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Happy May 13th!

Conwy Castle, Conwy Wales, UK
I celebrate May 13th each year.  Back in 2015, this is the day I spent in surgery having a tumor removed and my spine rebuilt. It is the day I got back movement and most of the feeling in my legs and feet.  My re-birthday in a way. 

I had been stubborn, I knew for a long time, that something was not right, but I put off seeing a doctor.  I nearly put it off to long, I was very near to never walking again.  It was a silly thing for me to do, people can be like that.  

This hit home this year with a colleague at work, in the office next door to mine for the past 11 years.  We all knew something was not right with Lori, she lost a lot of weight, looked bad, was missing work, or working from home.  The real give away should have been a change in her behaviour.  She stopped criticizing others work, I published a couple of articles on her issues without her insisting on changing words and eliminating the extra commas.  

In March she didn't show up for a video staff meeting, wasn't replying to emails, wasn't answering her phones. The last anyone had heard from her was four days before.  The boss, called and asked the police to do a wellness check. They were concerned because her car was parked outside, and no one answered the door, so they broke in. They found her on the floor, conscious but unable to communicate.  She was taken to the hospital.  An MRI the next day revealed late stage metastasized cancer, spread to her ribs, spine, lungs and brain.  A day later she was transferred to inpatient hospice and she died a couple of days later.   

I fully respect her choice to not seek treatment. What upsets me is that she lived alone, and could have been there on the floor for days. If she had shared with someone that she was at risk, if she had asked her doctors for hospice care, she would not have faced the horror of falling, not being able to get up, not being able to get help, not knowing how long it would take her to die. 

Please don't let it happen to you. If you are not feeling well, see a doctor. If you live alone, make sure someone knows what is happening.  If you chose not to seek treatment, ask for hospice care. 

I remind myself to never take for granted the adventures of each day.  I was within a millimeter or two of my life changing drastically, or maybe ending.  We are all going to die someday, it does not have to be a terrifying death, loving care is available when we need it.  

Thank you for allowing me my annual wallow.  I try not to talk about this, it bores people.  If you ever need someone to listen to what is happening in your life, leave me a comment, email me through my profile.  The Way Were Wednesday will return next week. 

12 comments:

  1. and my "second birthday" is june 21; this year will be 31 years since cancer.

    I wish lori had someone she felt comfortable with discussing her needs.

    we are lucky that we are still here and that we still wake up on this side of the dirt each day. celebrate away!

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    1. Everyday on the green side, is a good day

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  2. Anonymous5/13/2020

    I think you have recounted the story of Lori before, but it is worth retelling. Our late friend decided to not seek treatment for cancer and to live at home for a long as possible with only her boarder and some of us to look after her. We tried to insist she seek treatment but she would not and couldn't be forced. Eventually she decided the day had arrived and we took her to hospital and she died within two days. At least she had someone with her.

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    1. I am a champion of choices, a lot of modern medical care is done because we can, not because we should.

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  3. This is not an annual wallow, it's an annual expression of gratitude. Hard to believe it's only been 5 years. I remember you telling about Lori. I, too, respect her decision to forego treatment. In the same situation, I might even make the same decision. But I sure wouldn't want to leave it to someone else to find me days or even weeks later. What an awful thing for anyone to have to live with.

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    1. Greet the rising sun with joy, it is a sign that we get another chance at the adventure.

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  4. Amen, Travel.... also agree with your concept of choices...Do not see
    your "wallow", but concern and wisdom.

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    1. Thanks, another good year to come

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  5. This is a good thing to celebrate every year!

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    1. Every morning when I can feel and wiggle my toes.

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  6. "Come celebrate with me everyday something has tried to kill me and has failed" - L.CIifton.

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