While We Are Here

I am editing this post, the original was written at a time when I was deeply grieving a loss.  I said things that hurt other people, I have apologized to those impacted.  I think there is a valuable message here, so I am editing and reposting.  

There is an old saying, "it may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here, we might as well dance."  It recently struck me that in addition we need to "dance to the tune that is playing."  

Life throws us curveballs (that is inside baseball, for surprises.) Things don't always go as expected. Things break, weather is inclement, other people let us down, or even worse intentionally hurt us. We can't change the unexpected or bad things that happen, we can change how we react to them.  It may not be the tune we expected, but we might as well dance.  

Okay, I was being a little cryptic.  Let me unpack this a little. I was deeply hurt by the decision of a board committee.  It changed my plans for the next few years. I am not sure if I was targeted, or collateral damage. Either way, I let my hurt feelings get in the way of being a good person.  I failed to dance to the tune that was playing, and eventually decided to slip out the back door and leave the party.  Sometimes that is the best thing we can do for ourselves and others.  

This had been rattling around for three weeks when I posted the original.  Weeks later it was still waking me up in the middle of the night.  It was time for me to apologize, to forgive and move on.  There will be a post sometime in April about the power of forgiveness.  

Go where you are needed. Unpleasant things sometimes happen to good people for inexplicable reasons.  Think carefully about how you proceed.  Dance to the tune that is played, even if that dance needs to be solo.