The Way We Were Wedneday - Venice

Four years ago, seems like just yesterday, seems like a million years ago, we were in Italy in May for two weeks.  We settled into a table in St Marks Square, I ordered and an Aperol Spritz and soaked in the surroundings.  Pictures like this take me back to that time and place.  I have 150,000+ frequent flyer miles on one airline, where should we go when it is time to travel again?  Where do you plan to go?  

Fabio - No not that Fabio this one.

As I have mentioned before, I am back riding my bike, a little.  I had not ridden for a few years.  I learned to ride as kid, a bike was freedom to move about, a break from isolation on the farm. I did a couple of seasons of sprint-series triathlons in my hyper fit days, I was fast with decent bike handling skills, but nothing like these guys.  I can watch Fabio for hours.  And yes, he has broken a few things over the years.   

Would you ride like that, if you could? 

So there is a follow up video about the making of home office. See https://youtu.be/q43M5qeNxPA. The video took 25 days and over 2,700 takes to shoot.  The things we can do when we have time at home.  

My Music Monday - Glen Campbell

Sometime in the early 1970's, I heard Glen Campbell perform live at the Michigan State Fair, in a massive thunderstorm.  Years later I heard an interview with him, he was talking frankly about his struggle with alcohol, and he talked about the time he was drunk off his ass, and insisted on going on stage in a massive thunderstorm at a state fair.  Most of his band refused to go onstage, but he did.  As I recall he only did a couple of songs before lightning knocked out the sound system.  He developed dementia later in life, was very public about his journey through that illness, and died a few years ago.  

Sunday Five: Bright Sunny Day or A Little Rain

1: Is your ideal day at the beach bright and sunny or cloudy and windy? 
2: Do you look your best in bright sun, or darkness? 
3: Does rain, change your plans for the day? 
4: Have you ever spent an hour, just watching the rain fall? 
5: Do you prefer a light drizzle or a bumping thunderstorm? 

My Answers:
1: Is your ideal day at the beach bright and sunny or cloudy and windy? I have to limit time in the sun anymore, so cloudy with a warm breeze. 
2: Do you look your best in bright sun, or darkness? I think I look better in darkness. 
3: Does rain, change your plans for the day? Very seldom. 
4: Have you ever spent an hour, just watching the rain fall? A few times, I need to remember to do this more often. 
5: Do you prefer a light drizzle or a bumping thunderstorm? Drizzle. 

Please share your answers in the comments. 

Should I

It has been about 40 years since the last time I went fishing.  That was on a pier in Florida, with a friend. After an hour of nothing happening, I left my fishing equipment behind and went to the bar. I love being near the water, I sometimes wonder if I should try fishing again.  Do I have the patience to deal with it, after all it is called fishing not catching. 

Do you fish? 

Getting Myself Out of a Funk

Back in January, I put up a post about getting screwed in politics on a board I had served on.  The post upset some people, who were offended that I would express my feelings about being upset. Maybe I went to far in my words, I let my emotions get the better of my judgement. I took the post down for a while, then heavily edited and put it back up (I don't want a break in my now over five year streak of posting daily.) 

The emotional baggage with that situation kept flaring up, in March I resigned from the board, and the committee work I was doing.  My emotions were getting in the way of being effective.  The new board officers terms started recently, triggering a major funk for me.  I am very happy for the new officers, they are my friends, I know they will will do a wonderful job.  At the same time my brain was screaming, "why am I not there?"  I am not, because of a decision that I had no control over, a decision based on style and personality, not on what I had done.  It was a difficult few days. 

After a couple of days of the funk, I sat down and put in writing how I felt, a message to the new officers, a message to the person who headed the committee that made the decision that hurt me deeply.  I let that sit overnight, thought about it and hit the delete key. Some would say print it out and burn it, others would say bury it, for me intentionally hitting the delete key works just as well.  Leave it behind, for the past is the past, and we can not change it.  

A part of me really wanted those involved to understand how I feel.  For the person responsible (not you Jen) to express some regret or apology.  I had sent a sincere apology for the blog post that others found offensive to the committee responsible, and no one acknowledged that apology.  I wanted at least one of them to respond with "thank you, I can understand that you might have been upset" but nothing, total silence.  

Then I remembered, as I said in yesterday's post, happiness is an inside job.  Try as I might, I can't force another person to think about me, or my feelings, or to see things through my eyes.  I can't get another person to say what I want to hear. Regret, forgiveness, and apology are inside jobs. They are things we do in our own heads, for are own peace of mind, to get ourselves out of our own funks. Waiting for someone else to do these, only tortures me.  Releasing myself from the expectation that others might be human, might acknowledge my feelings, might admit that maybe, just maybe, their actions were hurtful, is unrealistic.   Their lack of action tells me volumes about them, but my reaction to that lack of action tells me volumes about me.  And I can change how I react, I can free myself from the self imposed funk. 

What should you hit the delete key on? 

There Is Fun To Be Had

An old friend texted me recently that he was bored, he said he had been sitting around playing to much solitaire and watching to much porn.  I somehow missed the opportunity to say, "aren't those two the same?" I suggested he take a drive, and a couple of days later he sent me a picture of Lake Superior, about an hour from his home. 

I have been cooking a lot recently.  I love to cook, I have more time to do so.  

I have changed a lifelong bad habit of eating lunch at my desk and working through lunch, I have started taking a break and leaving my desk.  We have time to change old habits, establish new ones.  

I have taken the cars out for a drive.  You kinda need to do this, the battery in my grocery getter, died, from neglect.  The car had only been driven 98 miles since it was serviced and inspected in early January. If you are allowed to drive, get out and keep your battery charged, it will recharge your emotional battery as well. 

I have discovered the joys of delivery services.  I needed shower gel, with the new shower I am spending more time staying clean.  I went online, placed an order and right on "Target," it arrived at my door a few days later.  No standing in line, less collateral damage of things that just seem to jump into the cart when I am in the store.  The other afternoon I placed an order on Amazon Fresh, the next morning it arrived at my door before noon, and I didn't have to deal with the tight-dark parking garage at Whole Foods.  

I have been walking more, I am seeing things in the neighborhood, that I had not seen in a decade of living here.  I have started riding my bike again.  I really hadn't ridden in almost 6 years.  I do enjoy it, I need to be careful, but it feels wonderful to be riding again.  I just need the weather to be a little more consistent.  

I am reaching out to old friends.  I saw on Facebook that an old friend had been approved for tenure at the University of Kentucky and emailed her.  Gloria has had a long and tortuous history of good jobs gone bad, it was good to see that she finally got what she so deserves.  We joked back and forth by email, she is going to teach two more years then retire.  

Yes there is a lot of crap going on in the world right now.  But there are blogs to be read, and fun to be had.  Happiness is an inside job, not something that comes from outside.  Find your fun, and enjoy life, while we are here we might as well dance.  

What are you doing for fun? 

Happy May 13th!

Conwy Castle, Conwy Wales, UK

I celebrate May 13th each year.  Back in 2015, this is the day I spent in surgery having a tumor removed and my spine rebuilt. It is the day I got back movement and most of the feeling in my legs and feet.  My re-birthday in a way. 

I had been stubborn, I knew for a long time, that something was not right, but I put off seeing a doctor.  I nearly put it off to long, I was very near to never walking again.  It was a silly thing for me to do, people can be like that.  

This hit home this year with a colleague at work, in the office next door to mine for the past 11 years.  We all knew something was not right with Lori, she lost a lot of weight, looked bad, was missing work, or working from home.  The real give away should have been a change in her behaviour.  She stopped criticizing others work, I published a couple of articles on her issues without her insisting on changing words and eliminating the extra commas.  

In March she didn't show up for a video staff meeting, wasn't replying to emails, wasn't answering her phones. The last anyone had heard from her was four days before.  The boss, called and asked the police to do a wellness check. They were concerned because her car was parked outside, and no one answered the door, so they broke in. They found her on the floor, conscious but unable to communicate.  She was taken to the hospital.  An MRI the next day revealed late stage metastasized cancer, spread to her ribs, spine, lungs and brain.  A day later she was transferred to inpatient hospice and she died a couple of days later.   

I fully respect her choice to not seek treatment. What upsets me is that she lived alone, and could have been there on the floor for days. If she had shared with someone that she was at risk, if she had asked her doctors for hospice care, she would not have faced the horror of falling, not being able to get up, not being able to get help, not knowing how long it would take her to die. 

Please don't let it happen to you. If you are not feeling well, see a doctor. If you live alone, make sure someone knows what is happening.  If you chose not to seek treatment, ask for hospice care. 

I remind myself to never take for granted the adventures of each day.  I was within a millimeter or two of my life changing drastically, or maybe ending.  We are all going to die someday, it does not have to be a terrifying death, loving care is available when we need it.  

Thank you for allowing me my annual wallow.  I try not to talk about this, it bores people.  If you ever need someone to listen to what is happening in your life, leave me a comment, email me through my profile.  The Way Were Wednesday will return next week. 

Blogging about Blogging

The Hotel Parrot, he would only talk when there was no one in the room. 

I have passed the five year mark of not missing a day of posting.  In the first decade of blogging, I blogged when I thought of something, or when I felt like it, with very mixed results.  I met some wonderful people, several of whom have remained friends despite dropping out of blogging.  A few years ago I did some reading on developing social media networking - for work.  A few things I learned along the way:

• Create content on a consistent basis.  Some blogs post weekly, or two or three times a week.  Consistency builds readers. 
• Comment on other blogs and more people will comment on yours. 
• If you reply to comments, people will be more likely to comment. 
• Use photos or graphics.  Text only is lost on the visual readers.  
• Ask a question to engage your reader. 
• I create content ahead of time, and schedule posts.  I try to be a week ahead, and posts get moved around.  
• Try to stick with a theme, I try to stay positive, upbeat.  Obviously travel is a recurring theme for me. 

What is your best tip for blogging? 

My Music Monday - More from Romanovsky and Phillips - Family Of Lovers

Jay had the 10-30 rule for dating.  No one more than 10 years older or younger, and no one with less than a 30 inch waist.  I was close on one of those two when we first met, I think he checked my underwear for size.  Never let your song be unsung. 

Sunday Five - Mothers

I have debated about posting this.  For some of us mother is a complicated subject, for some mother's day is a painful reminder or someone who is no longer in our life.  Today is mother's day in the United States.  As I recall mother's day was a couple of months ago in the United Kingdom.  I always try to avoid topics that upset others, and parents can be upsetting, but we all have them, we all have feelings about them.  My mother has been gone three years, plenty of time for me to reexamine my thoughts and feelings - it has gotten more complex with the passage of time.  

1. Where was your mother born? 
2. What was your mother's childhood like? 
3. How did your mother meet your father? 
4. Are there things left unsaid, with your mother?
5. Did mom like you best? 

My answers: 

1. Where was your mother born? In rural Michigan, north of Lansing. 
2. What was your mother's childhood like? She was born on the eve of the depression, her parents were subsistence farmers, it was a difficult life until World War II. 
3. How did your mother meet your father? She went roller skating with another guy, and her dates car broke down, and my father gave her a ride home. 
4. Are there things left unsaid, with your mother? Yes, best that way.
5. Did mom like you best? Tough question, she was very fond of my sister, of the three sons - I was probably her favorite.  

Please share your answers in the comments. 

Huggable, Cute, Fluffy, or Cuddly

Sometimes what we all really need is someone or something huggable, cute, fluffy and cuddly.  Be it the Mistress's candy shop, or John's pack, or our flock of acrylic house sheep, at times we just need a hug. 

Say Hi to Townie, 

Commentary on Smoking

I was surprised outside of the hotel at Mount Juliet in Ireland to see ashtrays, old fashioned glass ashtrays, set out for use, and meticulously clean.  I can remember in the mid-1980's thirty years ago, keeping an ashtray on my desk for smokers.  It was expected.  (I had a nautical themed ceramic one that traveled from office to office with me, I wonder what happened to it?) Over the past 30 years smoking in public places has become politically incorrect.  Smokers have become outcasts in modern society.  

Certainly in the United States smoking in public places has been banned, restaurants, offices, retail stores, classrooms (Rollins College banned smoking in classrooms and closed the on campus bar the year I started there.) I have noticed a decline in smoking in public in Europe.  Italy, England, and France were strongholds of public smoking, and change is taking place there.  

Has smoking declined where you are? 

Borough Market

When I booked the hotel for London in early March, I was returning to a hotel we had stayed in before, near the Borough Market.  The current market was established by an act of Parliament in 1754 (older than the United States as a country.) Markets have operated on the location for 1,000 years.  It is a truly amazing city market.  There is a remarkable selection of fruit, vegetables, cheese, bakeries, and meats. Many vendors focus on ingredients, others on ready to eat hot and cold foods.  Something for everyone.  

There are few of these in the world, the central market in Florence is another one.  I could live in an apartment across the street from a market like this with a nice kitchen, and smile everyday for the rest of my life. 

Ready to go market shopping with me? 

The Way We Were Wednesday WDW

This slide was square, telling me is was taken on Kodak 126 film, the square instamatic format.  Walt Disney World opened October 1st 1971, we visited in February of 1972, and that is when this would have been taken.  That was back in the early days, of different valued ride tickets, short lines, limited food options.  At one time, I had two or three instamatic cameras, I must have tossed them at some point. They stopped making film in that format in 2008, but it became hard to find long before that.  There is a long history or orphan format cameras.  

Travel and taking pictures have long gone hand in hand for me.  I remember buying film at K-Mart for the trip to Florida that winter.  

Do you still have a film camera sitting around? (I have at least two.) 

San Francisco - And Flying Fun.

The first time I went to San Francisco, I did so by adding a couple of days onto a training project I had contracted to do for AARP in Sacramento.  I rented a car, and drove the back roads across through Napa into San Francisco from the north.  The only time I ever drove a car into San Francisco.  The second time I went to San Francisco was related to another consulting contract for AARP. I was scheduled to present a training in Santa Rosa.  I had made pre-paid non-refundable hotel reservations in San Francisco to spend a long weekend after the training and then fly home.  About a week before the program date, the training was cancelled.  We had more staff flying in then they had attendees signed up.  I thought about it for 15 minutes, I was going to lose several hundred dollars on the hotel reservation.  I was able to get a Delta Airlines seat with frequent flyer miles, I think the first time I had flown on award tickets.  I had a wonderful time in San Francisco, and an exciting trip home.  I was flying from SFO to Atlanta, with a change in Atlanta for Lexington, Kentucky.  Someplace over Texas the lights went out, the electrical system on the plane had suffered a major failure.  We went from 40,000 ft, to on the ground in Dallas in about 15 minutes. Fire engines followed us from the runway to the gate, there was smoke coming out of the engine cowling. I was shuffled onto another flight to Atlanta, spent the night there and flew home the next morning.  Then there was the time I was coming home one Thanksgiving, changing planes in Atlanta, and the baggage conveyor dented the side of the airplane.  We sat there for half an hour or so, and the captain announced, we have a dent, but engineering assures us it is safe to fly.  If you want to get off, please do so, as soon as we can we are on our way.  Half the people left, one of the most comfortable slights I ever had at Thanksgiving time.  Then there was the plane in Charlotte that backed into another airplane, pulled forward and backed into it again.  Tore wintips off of both planes.  

Have you had adventures in flying? 

My Music Monday - Straightening Up The House

I wonder if Oscar Wilde struggled with what mom and dad would think?  I didn't come-out until my early 30's.  I never had the official coming out conversation with my parents, I figured after I brought J home for easter a couple of years in a row, they would figure it out, and they did - the words of Mrs. Slocombe "eventually." 

The artist on last week's Music Monday was apparently politically incorrect, Romanovsky and Phillips I think had an album by that name.  When I need a little reaffirmation, I cue up their old CDs and remind myself, it is all okay. 

The Sunday Five - What Have You Been Up To?

Five questions about what people are doing these days: 

1. Others, including our remarkable Spo, are reporting reading more than before, are you reading more, less or about the same? 
2. A couple of weeks ago Mitchell posted about his balls, have you tried Mitchell's balls? 
3. We are doing more video conferencing, including John over at Going Gently. Have you found yourself on more video chats recently? 
4. Music is the backdrop of a lot of lives, Anne Marie is always providing musical flashbacks to my teen years, and the occasional political encouragement. Are you listening to more music, less music, or about the same? 
5. Here in the northern hemisphere, spring is busting out all over, just as it is for Ken and Walt in France. How green are things where you are? 

My answers: 

1. Others, including our remarkable Spo, are reporting reading more than before, are you reading more, less or about the same?  I am reading much less, my reading time was my daily subway rides to and from work, with telecommuting I am falling behind, I may not reach my goal for the number of books read. 
2. A couple of weeks ago Mitchell posted about his balls, have you tried Mitchell's balls? I made a batch, they are very good.  Go ahead, touch them.  
3. We are doing more video conferencing, including John over at Going Gently. Have you found yourself on more video chats recently? Video chat became a part of my life 11 years ago, I am doing a lot more now.  
4. Music is the backdrop of a lot of lives, Anne Marie is always providing musical flashbacks to my teen years, and the occasional political encouragement. Are you listening to more music, less music, or about the same? More, hours a day, every day.  
5. Here in the northern hemisphere, spring is busting out all over, just as it is for Ken and Walt in France. How green are things where you are? The world outside is a livid shade of green, the tree outside my bedroom window is rapidly changing my view from winter to summer.  

Please share your answers in the comments.

More Funk in Dublin

Dublin is a young, modern hip place, set in an old city.  The blending of new ideas in old places creates a very comfortable place.  When cities focus to much on being old, the atmosphere can become museum like creating a fear of touching the artifact that is in fact a city.  Some locations focus on being so avantgarde that they become unwelcoming, especially for those of us with more yesterdays than tomorrows.  As the sign says, there is danger in too much focus, balance is more welcoming.  

Is your hometown focused or welcoming? 

Indy Later This Year

I started watching the Indianapolis 500 as a teenager, I have missed only a couple of them, I even hid a small television in a bottom desk drawer a couple of times when I had to work on race day.  The race is normally Memorial Day weekend, the last weekend in May. This year it is delayed to August 23rd.  Let's hope by then there is a safe crowd in the stands.  

I have never been there for the race, I have gone twice for qualifying weekends.  It is truly amazing to watch the cars go by at over 200 miles per hour. I am ready and waiting for the greatest spectacle in racing.