Wednesday, December 06, 2017

Sorting out the Inheritance

Mom and Dad, named me as executor. There were a couple of times when I asked "why me" and when I thought for a moment the answer was clear, they thought I would have the ability and strength to sort things out, resist the pressures, and assure that everyone received their fair share.  There were challenges, a bit of a power struggle, a rush to get cash to siblings who who had urgent needs, some assets that I had to learn by doing to get control of, a hurricane the weekend of the estate sale, the closing of the sale of the house was delayed three times and then took four days to complete, and a family member (not one of my siblings) who backed up a truck and trailer and kept loading stuff out of the house and garage until he ran out of space. 

It is all done, except the final tax returns, and those can't be done until next spring.  At that time the last small checks will be sent, the accounts closed, this chapter ended. 

Yes, I inherited a little money. Not that much, and no you can't have any. No I am not "Rich as the Roosevelts" (nice phrase Dr Spo).  

I inherited some stuff, a little jewelry, a nice watch that I have spent far too much having restored (it was my father's and the sentimental value is priceless.)  I didn't ship any furniture home, there were only a couple of pieces I would have liked, and ultimately with consolidating the house into the condo on the horizon I would have struggled to find space for them. 

I also picked up a piece of baggage I need to unload.  Anger and bitterness at the family member who interpreted the invitation to come look through the house and pick our a few things he could use, as an invitation to back a truck and trailer up and take everything of value he could pack in. My feelings reared their ugly head when my sister was here for Thanksgiving.  She said she wished she had kept dad's old shop vacuum, that thing would suck up anything. I responded, "that is okay Lxxx took it along with anything else that wasn't nailed down."  

I need to get over it and dump those feelings.  I forgive Lxxx, and those who stood by and watched not knowing what to say.  Carrying the anger will only hurt me.  I don't have room in my life to carry ill feelings.  It was only stuff, maybe it would have added a-couple-of-thousand to the estate sale proceeds.  My share of that would only pay a couple of days of my inevitable nursing home bill.  If I carry the anger, it will cost me so much more in happiness and love.  

I have seen too many families fight over unimportant stuff, families tear themselves apart over a few dollars. My material grandmother didn't talk to half of her family for 50 years over a dispute about the sale of her father's farm. I don't have enough family to shut half of them out. She didn't either - forgiveness would have brought her more happiness than the few dollars she thought she was cheated out of.

So the next time those thoughts start to invade, I will remind myself that I publicly tossed that baggage away. 

What piece of baggage do you need to toss away? 


  1. Dang! I never inherited *squat* from anybody!!!

    Guess I need to toss my feeling of resentment when I hear of folks inheriting stuff/money.



  2. I tossed away my baggage in 1990 (blood family and ex-husband).

    you look like your mommy; LOVING her cat-eye glasses!

  3. My baggage (all emotional) has been whittled down from a steamer trunk to a small clutch purse.