Friday, May 26, 2017

The Fountain of Old Age

How ironic that Juan Ponce de Leon came to Florida in search of the fountain of youth, what he found turned out to be the opposite, the place old people come to get older, waiting for an inevitable death - the waiting room for heaven or hell.  I was in Florida recently, checking on my terminally ill father, who moved there 35 years ago, figuring he'd be dead in 20 years, and to visit other assorted family and friends and hear about their assorted ailments and illnesses. Their illnesses and treatments are enough to make you think the state should be quarantined. I don't think there is a healthy person in the state.  There is one I am worried about, he is pissing blood and no one seems to know why.  He is concerned about the video camera they are going to use to "go in for a look see" and I am thinking I'd be more worried about what is coming out, than what is going in. The camera is only a couple of millimeters wide, the other three inches are just his fears.  

I went to dinner at Cracker Barrel, because it was withing easy walking distance of the hotel I was staying in, and sat there watching the walkers (walking frames), canes and wheelchairs roll in and out, filled with frail people, eating what might well be there last meal, at Cracker Barrel. Think about it, if you thought you might be dead in the morning, would you really want to order the frozen meatloaf and overcooked green beans (actually the beans are kind of tan the way they cook them) as your last meal?  Lobster and caviar should sell much better than they do in Florida.  

Don't get me wrong, I love the climate in Florida, I like 90 degrees, and 90% humidity, 9 months out of the year - well I liked not having snow - well I did get snowed on twice in my 20 years of living in Florida - but it didn't stick.  I grew to love the flora and fauna of Florida, I grew to appreciate the landscape and rhythm of the southern seasons. But seriously, all of these old people in Florida are on deaths' door. Don't move to Florida unless you are ready to die. 

Would you move to Florida? 


  1. Nope. Been there three times, and have yet to enjoy myself. It's seems to be all old farts, or tourist. I'll leave it. I always thought it should read Florida- The Zimmer Frame State.

  2. Nope! Too many transplanted New Yorkers -- a place I escaped a long time ago.

  3. Never! I don't want that much humidity and lightning. I rather like seasons that are really seasons. However, if we get snow here once a year that melts by noon, we are thrilled. Being able to grown oranges would be my only draw, but I can buy those without having to worry about hurricanes.

  4. HELL NO! went there once and HATED IT!

  5. Anonymous5/26/2017

    um, dear, you've been looking in the wrong places in Florida. Pity on you. Head down to Miami's South Beach, order a Mai Tai and have a seat. I'm certain your view will be a helluva lot different.
    People are dying all over the world.
    The average age in Florida is 44.

  6. We moved OUT of Florida ten years back.
    I might move back to northern Florida, but never to South Florida ... it's too much of too much.

  7. Having owned property in Florida for many years (still do), Ft Lauderdale to be exact, and frequenting there often, I can say I love Florida. in San Diego...I can honestly say I don't think I'll ever live in Florida. I find SoCal a much more enjoyable and livable place.

  8. I like the central, rural part of the state, the freshwater springs, lack of crowds, etc.

    But it does get HOT!!!

    I have a retired neighbor near my WV property who leaves for FL around Thanksgiving, and returns to the mountains in the spring...that would be my ideal.



  9. Anonymous5/26/2017

    YES! I live in London, go figure.

  10. Isn't it all going to be underwater in fifty years?