Saturday, October 17, 2020

Happy Anniversary

 28 years ago, we joined together to make a home for ourselves.  Five years ago, as law and society caught up with us, we married in the eyes of the law.  Neither of us were young and foolish when we met.  We have been together nearly half of our lives.  Simply said, J is the best thing that ever happened in my life.  

One of my nephews is getting married next weekend.  Unfortunately because of the risks of travel and crowds, we won't be there.  I sent a nice gift, a nice card and a personal letter (a real letter sent through the United States Postal Service - then was the last time you received one of those?) 

I offered some sage advice to the young couple (actually about the age J and I were when we decided to make a life together.) 

Here are some of my bullet points on a long and happy relationship. 

• Don’t worry about not being perfect, life is not perfect. At my age I have finally figured out that some of the great joys in life are the imperfections.  After all, it is the bit of sand that spurs the oyster to form a pearl. 
• Don’t expect the other person to change in anyway.  Love them for who they are.  
• Always be kind to one another.  
• Don’t say things that can’t be unsaid. 
• It is normal for two people to do things a little differently, to think a little differently, to value things differently; you are not marrying yourself, or someone you can make into a mini-me.  
• See life through the other person’s eyes.
• You will learn what the other person’s weak spots are, never go there.  
• Let your love and respect for one another be strong enough to make everything else unimportant.  
• Don’t worry about keeping up with the Jones, they secretly worry about keeping up with you.  
• Learn one another’s strengths and rely on them.  
• Let the other person try and fail, without saying anything but, bravo for trying. 
• Be one another’s cheerleaders.  
• There are no his chores, or her chores, there are things that need to be done, do them when you see them and don’t keep score. If you do your share, you don’t need to worry about balance.   
• Travel, alone or together, whenever you can. 
• Focus on quality time when you are together. 
• Allow each other time alone.  

What would your advice be to the happy couple? 


  1. Don't marry a Scorpio!!!!! I'm the last to offer advice on relationships.

    ANYWAY. You two look innocent enough....

    Happy Anniversary to you both!!! Too many, many more.

    1. There is someone, for everyone.

    2. I'm a Scorpio, and a pretty good one I dare say. 😊

  2. Wishing you a happy anniversary and many more!

  3. Anonymous10/17/2020

    You've captured it all. There is nothing left to say except congratulations.

  4. Warrior Queen and I exchanged vows on this date 28 years ago at the Holiday Inn on Eisenhower Avenue. Another coincidence: my nephew is also getting married next week. It will be a small wedding under the circumstances and, no won't be traveling there either. Your advice is wonderful. I wouldn't change a thing. Happy Anniversary!

    1. Happy Anniversary! That hotel is still there, we stayed there when we were having the hardwood floors installed.

  5. I loved your list of do's and don't's ... perfection.

    Carlos and I are also celebrating our anniversary today, too. For us it's been 20 years together and six years married.

    Cheers to you both!

  6. 28 years and I haven't killed todd yet...(yet being the operative word)

    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, LOVEBEARS! you get your annual shout-out on my blog. and I have nothing to add to your list. many more years of togetherness for you both is my wish.

  7. Happy Anniversary! I think you've provided your nephew with some very sage advice. I can't think of anything to add except to laugh together as often as possible.

    1. I missed that, we still make one another laugh. Thank you!

  8. You two are such cuties! Happy Anniversary!

  9. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! Love this list. I’d add

    Never take each other for granted: I still thank my spouse for everything he does, day in and day out, as he does me.

    Check in once in a while: is everything ok? Any concerns or issues you want to discuss? Are we where we want to be? Doing what we want to do? I believe my spouse feels more free to share concerns because I invite him to, rather than make him come to me and initiate a talk. And vice versa.

    Just my two cents. Have a great day!

  10. I like all of these, except for the Jones thing. I've been a Jones for 46 years now, and keeping up with us is no big thing :) You may want to try the Smiths. There is that thing about not going to bed angry, but then a lot of us would suffer from sleep deprivation on several occasions. One more thing, it wouldn't hurt for the one who usually doesn't do the dishes, to empty the @#$% dishwasher once in a while!
    Have an enjoyable anniversary you two. Now there're four cheeks I want to pinch.

    1. Thank you sweetie! I empty the dishwasher a couple of times a week.

    2. Good for you! You are a keeper!

  11. And many more happy anniversary's for you!

    And very sage advice.....

  12. I too join the conga line of congratulations!
    well done !