Moody Monday: Self Care

 It has been a challenging few months.  People keep dying, I gave up and ordered sympathy cards by the dozen from uncle Jeff.  Friends pets keep dying, beloved dogs and cats - members of the family of people I care about.  Work can always be challenging, there have been a few strange items recently - a document that is three months behind schedule that came in only to need massive editing, and budget season is rapidly approaching. Politics, especially at the state level are simply frightening.  The good news was there is asteroid the size of a house that has about 1 in 500 chance of slamming into the earth sometime in my lifetime.  At times I find myself saying out loud (I talk to myself in the shower) that I just don't want to do this anymore. 

I was scheduled to take part in a virtual meeting all day last Friday and Saturday. I have a seat at the table on a big national project, on an issue I have been passionate about since I was a teenager.  I made it through Friday, though I had little or nothing to add.  I was pleased that others had problems with the same issues I had spent a couple of hours debating by email with the chair of the meeting. No matter what I said, she had three counter arguments why her way was best. I am glad I was not the only one who had problems with her idea, but the fight had gone out of me. I sent an email that I was "feeling off, and wouldn't join in today."  No offense to those with mental illness that need more than a day off to make life tolerable, but I needed to take a mental health day, a day of self care.  

What makes me feel better?  Reading what friends are up to (your blogs.)  Writing.  Watching a little video.  The right music.  Cooking - Saturday I made a white bean soup from scratch (no canned bean shortcuts.) A morning run to the farmers market.  A walk.  A nap.  A long hot shower.  (One advantage of living in a massive high rise, hot water is supplied by the building, meaning we have an endless supply of hot water, I can run the dishwasher, the washing machine, and we can both take a long shower and the hot water just keeps coming.) A day of indulging in me, rest and recharging. 

We all need to know what works for us on self care.  For some it is a spa day, or a day out walking, or hiking.  Whatever it is, know what it is, know when you need to do it, and allow yourself to do so. 

The Sunday Five: Da Plane - Da Plane!

 You all know I like planes and flying, so here are few questions about planes and flying. 

1: Describe the smallest plane you have ever flown in?

2: That is the largest plane you have ever flown in? 

3: What is the longest flight you have ever been on? 

4: Have you ever flown in a helicopter?

5: What is the shortest airline flight you have ever taken? 

My answers: 

1: Describe the smallest plane you have ever flown in? A Piper J-3 Cub, the tiny taildragger, it was even painted Piper yellow, someone crashed it shortly after that ride, so only once.  

2: That is the largest plane you have ever flown in? 747s 

3: What is the longest flight you have ever been on? Athens to New York, about 11 hours one way. 

4: Have you ever flown in a helicopter? Twice, and I would again in a heartbeat. 

5: What is the shortest airline flight you have ever taken?  Lexington Kentucky, to Cinninciati International, it is about 80 miles, under 20 minutes if traffic allows.  

Please share your answers in the comments. 

The Saturday Morning Post: Better in Black and White or Color?

In the winter of 1991 -92, I was living alone in the house in Orlando, and I emptied out a nice sized walk-in closet and set up a simple black and white darkroom.  I hadn't done any lab work in over a decade, and decided I wanted to see what I could do.  I loaded the Canon F1 with Ilford HP4 and spent a few days off being artistic.  Then developed the film, and spent a couple of delightful evenings making prints.  Black and White photographic printmaking is a mixture of art, science and magic.  Minor changes of focus, lens aperture, and timing along with meticulous processing bring the image to life.  The paper is plain white when it comes out of a light proof package.  You expose it for a few seconds on an enlarger, a very high quality projector.  It is still a blank page.  You slide it into a developing solution, that changes the chemical makeup of the light sensitive silver on the surface of the paper, making the parts that have been exposed to white light turn darker, in a magic spectrum from cold white, to the darkest black.  You then move it into a bath that stops that process, and into a fixing solution that removes the silver solution that has not been exposed to light.  At that point it is no longer light sensitive, but needs all of those chemicals washed away, you rinse in gently running water for 20 minutes and dry.  

Rarely is the first print the perfect print.  Minor adjustments are made in exposure setting, and you can manipulate the light in the projection process.  My best all time print, was a 20 second exposure, with some areas having an extra five second, and another having only 15 seconds of light.  

Then process, wash, dry and reexamine for perfection.  

One of the joys of black and white, is this is all done in a special low level light in a limited color spectrum that the paper is not sensitive to.  You watch the image appear, an alchemy of science and magic.  

Color processing is done entirely in the dark.  It can be done in open trays, totally by feel, but most often the exposed paper is processed in some type of a machine - the home machine technology of the 70's and 80's loaded the exposed color paper into a plastic tube with a light proof cap at the end, that allowed chemicals to be poured in and out.  I didn't enjoy color printing the way I enjoyed black and white. 

Back to the last time I did darkroom work in the early 1990's.  I did it as a pure art form, and I was, and I still am, very proud of the results.  There are a couple masterworks of prints hanging next to my desk to this day. Those prints have a story, I framed them and gave them to my parents, and my father's reaction has stuck with me.  He didn't understand why I did black and white when I took such wonderful color photographs. When I was cleaning out his house, I found them in a closet, slipped them in my bag and brought them home.   

I have one of the knobs on my digital camera set to black and white, a simple turn and the image is captured in monochrome. Digital printing lacks the magic, the alchemy, the control that silver halide printing allowed.  I miss it.  When we sold the second house, I gave away the darkroom equipment,  in the condo we simply don't have space for it. I had a hard time finding someone to take it in.  

 

Funny Friday: Made me think of

 I saw this in a window and thought of my dear friend John. He has three dogs that adore him  (who wouldn't) and one indifferent cat. A perfectly balanced life.  

The Thursday Ramble: Always Looking for the Bright Side

My call with the IT disaster recovery team started out with an unexpected comment from me, "Thank you for taking out the trash." I imagine that most of the calls, have started off with them being screamed at, cursing and people crying.  And I have had a few of those moments, and then I looked at the bright side, of it. 

I can't really talk about the specifics, and I don't know how it happened, but we lost a bunch of files that were stored electronically - and the back up largely failed. We have been assured that it was a series of internal mistakes, and not a malicious act or external attack.   

I had been periodically asked to see if the files could be reduced in size.  And I would look, and see that there was some information that should be kept, and look at the sheer volume that was there, it is so easy to save electronic files, and reply that the files contained data we needed to keep.  And that is true, probaby 1 or 2 percent of it is information we either need to keep, or would actually use again someday.  Sorting through it to find that 1 or 2 percent would take months, the list of file folder titles is 3,660 pages long, and that is just for my tiny little department. And no one wanted to pay for my time, to do that work.  And I think I would die or quit before I finished the task. 

Now, no one needs to sort through the records and decide what to keep. Yes, we are missing a few files we should have kept, and a few that we will go looking for that won't be there, but all of the trash that either never should have been saved, or should have been deleted years ago, is also gone.  Someone took out the trash, and along with it a few things we will miss. Most of what we should have kept, is records no one will ever look at, but someone thinks we should keep (I am missing meeting minutes for  ___ years, but we never go back and look at them.) There will be a few things we will go looking for and find them gone.  

In other sources, I have found about half of what I was concerned about losing.  The rest, worrying won't bring them back. 

Time for a clean slate, for saying the past is past, and we are not going to repeat it.  

So, IT, Thank You for taking out the trash.  We will survive, and probably be better for not having all of the trash in the way.  

 

World of Wednesday W's : Week 10

What surprised me? Week 10, 20 percent of the calendar year has gone by already. 

Who have I seen? Last Friday was the first Friday of the month, our community LGBTQ gathering was dinner in the condo restaurant, a couple of delightful neighbors joined us, an IT wizard, and rocket scientist (daughter of an astronaut.)  A bunch of fellow wizards at the office last Thursday for the Executive Directors farewell party.) 

Where have I been? The usual, the office, the farmers market, out for a walk or two.  We are staying close to home for a few weeks.  

What have I been reading? I finished the 9th book for the year, Out of the Maze, a follow up to Who Moved My Cheese. It was good.  Book 10 is about work culture, and should be finished this week, staying on pace for one a week. 

Who have a talked to? My middle brother called, he sends me his information and I do his taxes for him, he was missing something and called to let me know it is in the mail.  He was heading to the Florida Strawberry Festival, with my ex.  Yes, my brother hangs around with my ex - no accounting for taste. 

What did I buy this week?  A dozen sympathy or bereavement cards, we have reached the age when people die faster than I can buy cards.  

What are we eating? Early spring greens are starting to show up at the local farmers market, and the last of the over-winter veggies, cabbage, sprouts, carrots.  One of my favorite farmers has started growing mushrooms. The Amish farm didn't have soft cheeses this week :( 

What surprised me this week? My attitude, turning a bit of a disaster at the office, into a cloud with a silver lining.  (Read to tomorrow's blog for more than I probably should say.) 

What is new in the neighborhood? An Aldi store opened this week, just down Rt 1 from us.    

Who deserves a slap? I am trying to be a better person, but there are a few people in Congress that would test the patience of the Pope. 

What funny story have I heard? A former Catholic Priest was describing a 7 hour flight from Paris to New York a couple of decades ago, with a child kicking the back of his seat most of the way.  Finally he rose, turned looked at the offending child and said, "you are testing the patience of a priest, and there are limits."  It worked.  

Who deserves an atta-boy this week? Our rocket scientist neighbor for suggesting the south of France for a fall getaway.  

Why Ads? Occasionally I get asked why there are ads on my Blog.  It is not about the amount of money I make, I average a little less than $10 a month.  Google is going to make money on my content.  They track every word, every image, and advertising appears every place I go based on that.  I have a post coming up in a couple of weeks that mentions the brand of messenger bag I carry, and all of sudden I am getting ads for Tumbuk2 (a great bag by the way.) If Google is going to make money on my work, I want a little of it.  It is not much, but a little.  I did make a change in the settings so the adds should be on the sidebars and not in the middle of the text.  

 

  

Travel Tuesday: Photo Drop Iceland

More photos, less text Tuesday, a look back at Iceland last May, a look forward to a future adventure.

Looks like Spo's board of directors

I didn't, would I? 

Anyone know what the bird is?

We are spending a night surrounded by geysirs on the next trip

I have bought rain gear, so we can walk behind the waterfall this time. 

We are spending a night on that volcanic island this trip.

 

Moody Monday: The Hope of Spring

 This was taken last Saturday morning, behind the building we live in an early riser seeing an early boomer.  The trees are budding, the early bulb flowers are blooming in sunny spots.  The sun rises a few minutes earlier each day, and sets a few minutes later each evening.  The sheep will lamb soon.  We are emerging from the darkness and cold.  

Just as the climate runs in cycles, so do we.  The darkness, the awakening of hope, the ripening of ideas, the autumn of maturity of our mission and then the beginning of new chapters in our lives.  For me the hope of new ideas, sustains me through the darkness, and the cycle continues. It has taken a few decades to figure out that this is part of the cycle of life.  Each season of our experience, follows the next, just as the seasons of the year follow each other.  

I see lots of new ideas, and honestly lots of change in the next couple of cycles.  Changes I have dreamed about and planned for, will rise and bloom over the next couple of years.   

The Sunday Five: You Asked me to Ask

Last week, I asked what should I ask, you asked for it?  

1: When the plane lands, do you stand up immediately or wait? 

2: What is the best/worst thing about your life? 

3: What is your travel theme song?

4: What is the one place you would like to travel to but will probably never get the chance?

5: How many other bloggers and blog readers would seriously be interested in a blogger meet-up :-)

My Answers:

1: When the plane lands, do you stand up immediately or wait? I stand as soon as the seatbelt sign goes off.

2: What is the best/worst thing about your life?  Best - the grand adventure: worst - thinking about mistakes of the past.  

3: What is your travel theme song? Last Mango in Paris or Paris Without You.

4: What is the one place you would like to travel to but will probably never get the chance? Asia

5: How many other bloggers and blog readers would seriously be interested in a blogger meet-up :-) Yes, probably here in the northeastern USA. 

Please share your answers in the comments. 

The Saturday Morning Post: Reflections

A photo that Sharon posted recently reminded me that My first online postings were on the Mirror Project, and Virtual Tourist. 

Back before commercialization of web-content these were sites that were populated with user generated content. 

The premise of the Mirror Project was users would submit photos of reflections, that the photographer appeared in - in some way.  As I recall there was a limit of how many or how often you could submit, and the editors reviewed the submissions and posted the one's that qualified.  I went out of my way to find shiny surfaces to take photos of. It was fun.  It was privately run, not monetized, and someone dropped the server, and it came to an end.  Parts of it have been recovered, but it never reopened.  

Virtual Tourist was a site filled with user generated content on travel, and forums where you could post questions and provide answers.  It started before monetization (advertising.) It morphed into advertising, tried being hosted by an online travel company, then shut down. It was huge, it had easy interfaces that anyone could use to build travel information pages,  but trying to make it pay it's way failed.  The hosting and server space had to be costly, and it was built before people thought about how to make this pay, and trying to convert it, just didn't work. 

Those experiences made me comfortable with blogging. Blogging has led to wonderful friendships. Reflecting back on it, it all started with reflected images.  

Fabulous Friday: Garden Art

Walls around back gardens are common in Phoenix, and I suspect much of the desert southwest.  I was early on my way to meet with Sharon from Phoenix Daily Photo, and stopped to take a walk along one of the the irrigation canals, along the side was a half mile long block wall, enclosing the side yards or gardens of houses, and this cutie was standing tall and proud over the wall.  It looks like copper, or bronze, and is wonderfully made.  A massive work of art, and fabulously perfect for where it is located.  The right thing in the right place. 

I thought of Sassybear.  If he ever sees one of these on offer, it will be sticking its head up above the snow in NY state.   

The Thursday Ramble: Spontaneous Outburst

I have been rather busy, and just a little stressed.  At times I work too much, and worry that I am doing to little.  A colleague was asking recently about a project, that I probably should have done, but I had someone else doing.  One too many questions were asked, I felt stressed and out tumbled the words, "at times I am overwhelmed and burned out and I asked someone to work on the project and I don't care who gets credit for it being done, as long as it gets done." 

There are two essential truths in this spontaneous outburst.  

First, I care more than things get done that need to be done, than I care who gets credit for them.  We spend far too much energy protecting turf, and building walls, energy that could better be devoted to making things happen. The bottom line was I asked someone if they would write the first draft on that project, and they did, and they have done a really good job. It needed to be done, and I didn't have the 10-20 hours to do it, and neither did the person(s) who were giving me a hard time about someone else doing it. Oh and in the end, the person has listed my office as having done the project, that really he did. I could have cried when he did that.      

Second, it shocked me to admit, that at times I feel overwhelmed and burned out. This is mostly a work related experience for me.  And it is not new for me.  If you look at my history, I have changed professions and jobs when those feelings reached a breaking point.  I don't think I am at a breaking point, but this also reinforces my thinking that it is time for me to retire.  If I stay retired or not, time will tell.  But I think it is time for me to move forward with an orderly plan to hand off to the next generation.  I have seen too many people carry on beyond the point of caring, because they felt obligated, or were trying to build a legacy.  I will miss the money, but the time for me to move on is getting near.  

So there are probably new adventures, new chapters to come.  This is not a rush, but the transition will be better if we take time and plan for it, rather than me spontaneously - enough of this #hit I am out of here.    

My World of Wednesday W's: March 1st edition

Wabbit, Wabbit, Wabbit, for good luck as we start off the month. 

Where have I been?  It was cold and moist last Saturday, and I wanted to get out for a walk, so I went across the river to the MGM Grand Cassino, it is a nice place to walk inside, and parking is free. The Wabbit was part of their lunar New Year display in the atrium. On Sunday I walked at Mt. Vernon.  

What have I done?  Lots of work, though I logged off Friday afternoon, slightly ahead of schedule.  Over the weekend I filed our tax returns. Our returns keep getting simpler. 

Who have I talked to?  My middle brother, he sent me his tax stuff to look at.  I does not appear that he needs to file this year. We don't talk often. 

Who else? I have traded text messages with my sister, she tested positive for Covid ten days ago and was home from work for a week of isolation.  

What is new?  I bought a new pair of waterproof walking shoes for the trip to Iceland.  There is a waterfall I am going to walk behind this trip.  I have a waterproof coat, waterproof over-trousers, and an underwater camera for the walk.  

What made me feel better? Getting the taxes done, and a ferry reservation for a volcano in Iceland. 

What special event this week?  A farewell party on Thursday for the Executive Director at work.  He has been with us 13 years, and decided it is time for the next adventure.  I hate to see him go, he has been really good.   

What have I been watching?  A lot of YouTube, season 2 of Clarkson's Farm (it is good), Battlebots, and Gold Rush.  

What am I thinking about doing? Deleting my Facebook profile before we are forced to pay $12 a month to prove that the page is really us.  I seldom post, but I would lose track of a few people.  Maybe people could go back to sending email updates? Or text messages? 

Who deserves and atta-boy? My retired boss, who helped me deal with a sticky issue of organizational politics.  

Who deserves a slap this week? I am back to advocating for kindness.

What made me sad? A high school friend died.  She had been in very poor health and has suffered a lot. Her suffering has ended, her families will take a while.   

 

  

Travel Tuesday: Walking Around New Orleans

 Continuing the theme of lots of photos and very little text on Tuesday 

A Little Walk Around New Orleans.