Thursday, August 26, 2021

Thursday Rambles - Guests - Being and Hosting

I couldn't resists, when Jay's older brother was here, I asked the waiter at lunch one day, "two of us are brothers, which two?"  Jay and I are often asked if we are brothers, of course the dear waiter got it wrong.  

It was fun having guests.  When I bought the condo, I was stretching on how much money I could afford to spend.  Buying a larger apartment with an extra bedroom, to serve as a guest room would have added another $100,000 to the purchase, and another $150 a month in property taxes and maintenance fees (our fees are high, but the maintenance and service are generally first class.) My thought was for what I would spend extra on taxes and maintenance fees, I could pay the hotel bills for guests most years, let alone the extra $100,000 to buy the larger place.  I have been here almost 12 years, I just paid my first hotel bill for guests. And I was glad to have the guests and to be able to do so.  

We don't get a lot of guests.  My sister has come a few times, her husband has a brother who lives in the area and if he and his brother are speaking, they stay with Patrick.  Neither of my brothers have come to visit, though I have offered to pay their hotel bill if they do. 

When I travel, I much prefer staying in a hotel to staying with friends or family.  I truly enjoy the privacy, and service.  I like feeling that I am not invading someone's personal space, or interrupting their routine.  

We were staying with Jay's mother one summer for a few days, it was hot, and she couldn't get the air conditioning to work. After one miserable sleepless night, we checked into a hotel.  She was insulted, she felt a failure, we did our best to explain that our comfort was well worth the minor cost of the Days Inn or whatever it was that was near her. She moved to a smaller place shortly after that, and us staying in a fluffy hotel after that was easy (and our taste in hotels moved upscale.) 

One year we were in Florida for Christmas, using both guest rooms at my parent's house, and my oldest brother arrived unannounced.  After a sleepless night trying to squeeze two king size guys into a queen size bed, we checked into the local Holiday Inn the following day.  Again comfort wins out.  I left the housekeeper a massive trip on Christmas Day, she cried with thanks when she saw me the next day. 

If you come to visit, I know some nice local hotels, depending on how close you want to be to the subway, and how fluffy you want.  I don't have a guest room. But I do enjoy having guests.  For select family (who I don't believe are regular readers) come visit and I will pay a few nights hotel bill for you.      


  1. So glad you enjoyed the visit and J’s brother enjoyed your generosity. We’ve done that at times, as well, since moving to this apartment. We use all our space and hate sharing a bathroom. In past homes, we often felt like we were running a hotel, but we had the room and enjoyed it... mostly. But, I’m with you. No matter how much I love the people I’m visiting, I much prefer a hotel for all the same reasons. (And thanks for the Thursday Rambles, I had forgotten what day of the week it was.)

    1. The kid brother will tell you, it is the day after bowling. Oh and I am skipping foodie Friday for a couple of weeks, so that landmark will be missing. Other posts on the next two Fridays. Hot and humid in the Big Apple.

  2. Anonymous8/26/2021

    Am I part of your big select gay family? I agree with your opinion. While we have three bedrooms, R often remarks how he wish we didn't as it encourages visitors to the 'city highrise hotel'. It's good for storage and clothes drying though.

    We recently had a conversation about how much money we will be leaving behind when we die and we have realised it will be quite a lot and so we will no longer stay at someone's home but stay in a hotel or whatever nearby. We have already began to do this, or had before our latest lockdown. Another decision is to fly business class and to stop trying to find bargains all the time. Get travel details right and then look at prices.

    1. I am still reluctant to pay for business class, and I no longer fly enough to score free up grades. I did book business class on the train on Saturday (four hour ride.) Spend it and enjoy it.

  3. We have a guest room with its own bath which makes having houseguests easier and we like having guests in the house.
    When we travel we also generally stay with friends and family, unless it's the least bit crowded and then we opt for a hotel nearby..

  4. I can see how the waiter might get it wrong. You all look like brothers!