I asked a friend if there was anything I could do to help him find happiness, and he snapped back, that he was quite good at finding his own happiness. Screamed at me is more like it, he was having a melt down.
He has a point. Happiness is an inside job. It is something we find for ourselves. Often it involves compromise, not letting challenges defeat us, working our way through grief and loss and all of the lousy things that happen in life. Finding happiness with what we have, and where we are. Not letting the turkeys get us down. And when we are down, allowing ourselves to heal and move on. For many happiness requires help, counseling, or medical treatment for chemical imbalances in the nervous system, and being brave enough to ask for help. (I think my friend may need a little help.)
Happiness requires liking yourself. Flaws and all, you are the only you - you have. Back in 2015 when I saw images of the tumor growing in my spine, my thought was I can't hate it, it is a part of me. A part that is growing too big in a place that it shouldn't be, and it has to go, but if I hate it, I am hating me. I know this is strange, but I need to love every imperfect part of me, or how can I be happy, how can I hope that others will love me. The hurdles in our life, are a part of our life - even is some of them require surgical removal.
This may qualify me for the LGBTQ+ club free microwave for membership recruitment. Someone I have collaborated with, who is almost my age, looked at me as an example that the world didn't come to an end when I came out; quite to the contrary my life got better, and came he came out of the closet recently. He said after 60 years, it was time to check that box and tell the world. His experience has been good. Acceptance by loved one's, his employer reassuring him that there is a six month waiting list to get an appointment with him, so if someone wants to walk, there is a line down the block of people who want his expertise. Happiness is loving yourself, and not hiding anything from yourself or the world. (He has a unique specialty that I really don't understand, his billable hour rate is literally 10 times what mine is - I am not cheap.)
We are making progress on the challenges in the office. I sat down the other day and wrote a list of five things I love about working where I work. I needed that. I felt caught up in a swirl of negativity, I feared that I was becoming a part of it. I needed reminding of the good things.
Have fun this week,
Find Joy in who you are,
Find beauty in where you are,
Marvel at being here,
A very good post we can all take something from. I do feel for people you can't seem to find happiness or can never be happy for long.ReplyDelete
Some need to see the good doctorDelete
I try not to overthink life and what I do, or don't. I suppose I could be described as reactive rather than proactive. Things just happen around me and I go along with them, rarely standing up for my opinions if they can be divisive. If I do, I will couch it very nicely. Best of all, I quite like the privileged life I've made for myself.ReplyDelete
I read something recently, on illiteracy, lack of access to drinkable water, electricity, we are the very lucky ones even at a very basic level.Delete
My parents raised me knowing that happiness is all you really get in life, so live that way, find the happiness and go for it.ReplyDelete
I have never thought about that, my parents were basically happy, one set of grandparents were happy, one not.Delete
Great post! You are absolutely right -- "happiness is an inside job." Attitude really is everything. I'm not surprised you were a role model and inspiration to your colleague who just came out. Good for him, incidentally. It's never to late to live your life as who you truly are!ReplyDelete
It took me a while to figure it out,Delete
You are so right. You have to make happiness for yourself. I feel blessed that I am able to do that.ReplyDelete
You appear to succeed at it,Delete
sometimes the search is harder than othersDelete
Not sure any "friend" who would I "snap back" and "Scream at you" is really a friend.Delete