Friday, February 14, 2014

Love and Marriage

Happy Valentines Day!

My sister got married today, her second time around, his fourth.  They seem to make one another very happy and I truly think they will enjoy many happy years together.  It was a simple, casual affair, Hawaiian print shirts, shorts and flip flops.

I took a try at marriage once, it didn't work.  We tried to change one another for a while, then gave up and lived lives of quiet desperation, neither of us having the guts to admit that it didn't work.  Finally jealousy ended it, she had a boyfriend, I didn't, and I was jealous.  I simply said, I know you are not happy, I am not happy, and we both deserve happiness.  We moved on.

A few months later I met my sweet-bear.  Within a short time I realized that I was the happiest I had ever been in my life.  I asked him to marry me and he responded, "don't be ridiculous."  That was about 20 years ago, times are changing, maybe someday soon the legal clouds will clear - clouds that make same sex marriage very complicated from a legal standpoint, if you live and own property in states that deny the right to marry.  Federal court rulings this week in the two states in question could clear the way for me to marry again.  To secure the legal recognition of the love that my heart recognized two-decades ago.

Why does it matter, taxes, inheritance rights, medical decision making rights, protections under state and federal law for married couples.  Just as a starter, if one of us dies while we still own a home in Kentucky, the survivor will owe the state inheritance tax of about 17% of one half of the net equity of a home we have owned jointly with the right of survivorship, since 1995. If the state recognizes a valid marriage, the tax is Zero.  Totally exempt. The same tax would be owed on SBs 401K, a total hit getting close to six-figures that will be totally exempt with a valid marriage.

We are getting close, I am getting optimistic. Love is in the air.


  1. I hope it is so for you!
    And for the shirts at the wedding, I will make you two to make all at your sister's wedding mad-jealous!

  2. Sweet story!
    Makes you believe in happy ever after eh?