Monday, November 09, 2026

Monday Moods: Really how are you doing? Are you getting the help you need?


 My father named me to settle his estate when he died, almost ten years ago. If I went back and read my blog posts from that time, it was a challenge. One family member was, and still is mad that I was named to settle things, despite the fact that I accounted for every dollar and declined a fee. A couple of banks and securities firms tossed up every obstacle they could think of.  I moved the estate and my personal accounts from a brokerage in despair over the incompetence.  

In the middle of this I was talking with a collaborator on a research project on the phone on day, and he simply asked "are you getting the help you need?" Without thinking, I answered "no- not really." I got up and closed my office door and took a few minutes to compose myself after that call. And then I addressed the issues. For me that was taking some personal time. Finding and reading books that helped support my mental health, grief and healing. Finding a couple of people to vent to. I had been so wrapped up in trying to resolve the issues, that I was not taking care of myself. We all need to do that. 

From time to time, we need to ask, How am I really doing? Am I getting the help I really need? And go with how you feel.  Seek out the things that you know will help you.  If you know what you need to do to stay healthy and take care of yourself, allow yourself to do it. If you don't know, find the resources, reading, listening, counseling to find the help you need.  

One of the biggest things that I needed, was someone to listen. Not to try to fix things, but to allow me to vent and verbalize my thoughts and feelings.  

I need to remind myself to take care of myself, we probably all do. 

These are challenging times, take care of yourself first. 

Sunday, November 08, 2026

The Sunday Five: Breakfast

1: Do you eat breakfast everyday?
2: How do you cook an egg? 
3: Bacon or Sausage?
4: What is your typical first meal of the day? 
5: Should baked beans be a part of breakfast?

My answers: 
1: Do you eat breakfast everyday? Yes, from childhood into my 30's I skipped breakfast, but not anymore. 
2: How do you cook an egg? Fried, poached, omelet, or scrambled. 
3: Bacon or Sausage? Yes. 
4: What is your typical first meal of the day? Toast, and iced coffee, about once a week I cook something special. 
5: Should baked beans be a part of breakfast? I am mystified by my English cousins eating beans for breakfast, a cultural curiosity. 

Please share your answers in the comments. 

Saturday, November 07, 2026

Saturday Morning Post: Painted Rocks


This was a thing a few years ago, painting rocks and leaving them in public places for people to find little works of art. I did a little of it in 2020-2021. It is simple, the raw materials are rocks, paint, or paint markers and a little imagination. Painted rocks are fun to find in random places, these were on a picnic table near the local hospital. A little something to brighten a stressful day.  

When we think about art and creativity, brightening someone's day is a worthy goal. It may be someone you know, or it maybe someone you will never meet. If your art can lift their spirits for a moment, you have made the world a better place. 

A high school friend of mine in Florida was into rock painting. But Florida has very few rocks. She was buying bags of landscape rocks at the local builders supply. I mailed her a box of rocks, I tagged a few of them with where they came from, the shore of the Potomac River, along a trail at Mt Vernon, the shore of the Pacific Ocean in Washington State.  The rocks made her day. I had fun collecting them, and sharing them. Connecting our art. I have one of hers, painted as a sheep. She died a couple of years ago. 

The rocks connected us, brightened our days, allowed us to be creative. Go be creative this week. Leave some rocks out to brighten a stranger's day. 

Friday, November 06, 2026

Funky Friday: A Little Background

 

Before my midlife crisis, and going to law school, I spent 15 years doing sales, marketing and project management for home builders in central Florida. Plowing under frozen out orange groves to build homes for naive New Yorkers. 

A few stories from those decades come back to me from time to time. 

Out in Wekiva we had built a home for a young couple. It was their first home. The house was finished, they been out for a final quality control check and orientation. They had signed off on everything. The transfer of ownership was scheduled for first thing the next morning. The phone rang with surprising news, on the way back to their rental, the wife announced she wanted a divorce not a new house. They were cancelling, not going through with purchase.  She had thought that building a new house, would be a new start, that it would bring her happiness, and it didn't. She didn't want a 30 year mortgage, she wanted a new husband. (Not that there appeared to be anything wrong with the one she had.) 

An additional story on that house.  I was in the office late one afternoon, when Shelby the painter stopped by. He said, "there is no easy way to say this, we just painted that house the wrong color." He had paint on the truck for a couple of houses, and the crew had opened the wrong paint. I said, "let me talk to the buyers." The buyers stopped by later that evening, and I simply said, "that paint color looks great with the stone work." They agreed. I smiled and called the painter and said, "they love the color, no reason to repaint it."  It helped to do favors for the tradesmen when I could. 

A few months later, I was walking a house under construction, checking on progress and details. It was Florida, so it was raining.  I stepped out onto the terrace, and the trim carpenter and the lumber salesman were standing under the overhang smoking marijuana.  They had a shocked and embarrassed look on their faces. I simply said, "good afternoon guys" and walked away. A few months later I was building a house for myself, I asked for a few little upgrades in the woodwork and details, that were graciously taken care of, no extra charge. 

In that house I asked for some detail work in the bathroom tile. The shower in the master bedroom was a real work of art, the tile setter did a wonderful job. The tile work in the hall bath was a little wonky, off a little here and there. And I knew why, a dozen beers were consumed between starting the first one and finishing the second one. And I didn't care, I was "homeless." I had sold the house I was living in, put the furniture in storage and moved in with my middle brother. I wanted the house finished as fast as possible. I built it in 71 days from the permit being issued to moving in. Not a record, about a month ahead of average. 

On that same house, the mason put the wrong color of brick on the planters. I called in the favor with the painter, and changed the paint color at the last minute rather than take a delay to change the brick. 

The fastest I ever saw a house finished was about 4 weeks. It was a small house, but still this was fast. The buyers had elected VA financing meaning they had less than $1,000 in cash needed. And VA required the lender to offer mortgage life insurance, meaning if the buyer died, the house was paid for. What I didn't know, was the buyer had terminal cancer. He died a week after the family moved in. I have long suspected that the construction manager knew, I didn't. He was a good guy.  

Thursday, November 05, 2026

The Thursday Rambles: Life is Good

I can remember as a kid, complaining to my grandmother that I was bored and there was nothing to do. She had me follow her out to the garage and handed me gardening tools and reminded me that there are always good things to do. They might not be the things you want to do, but there are always good things to do. 

There was a cartoon years ago. Researchers put two kids in a room with piles of straw and horse manure. One sat down on the floor and cried, he was the pessimist. The other one ran around tossing the straw in the air and exploring every corner of the room, shouting "with all of shit there has to be a pony in here somewhere" - the optimist.  Same place, same time, the difference is how you look at the world around you. There is always something good to be found. 

One of the things I enjoy about retirement, is being in charge of my time. It can also be the hardest part of retirement. Each day, I have to decide if I am going to despair, or go in search of the pony. 

Where will I walk today? I have made walking a habit, it feels weird if I miss a day. A good walk, is good for me. 

What artsy stuff will I do - this one is too easy to skip. When I don't create, I don't make the good stuff. And I like the good stuff.   

How many bloggers will I read today? Will I comment on them? I will, if I have something good to say. 

What will I read today? And how much. Feeding my mind with the good stuff.  

What will I do today, to show that life is good. 

Wednesday, November 04, 2026

My World of Wonders: November 4, 2026


Where have I been this week? The Farmers market, a walk in north Old Town, a walk along the River, a walk from Eisenhower Ave to King Street, the Community Center, Old Town North to Sister's Restaurant for lunch, the grocery store. 

Who have a talked to?  Tons of people at the art show opening. Amy, Pratibha, Jon, Kevin,  Ruth, Rebecca, Anna, Susan, Warren, Marcell. 

What failed me this week? About 20 years ago, I bought a Targus wireless computer remote, the thingy you use to advance PowerPoint slides from anyplace in the room. Saturday afternoon as I was setting up for the art show opening, I took it out of the case and it fell apart in my hands. The plastic molding that the screws holding the parts of it together, had failed. In a way I am surprised that it lasted this long, I have been through five or six laptop computers while I have used this. Sad, but it served me well. When I was producing the National Aging and Law Conference, I was always budget conscious. The AV contractors at the hotels charged $40-$50 a day to rent these. I went online and ordered them for about $10 a piece. I have a couple of back-ups. 

What frustrates me? My oldest brother is apparently trading text messages with our one-and-only first cousin, but is not replying to either my sister or me. A simple, "still here," would be reassuring. 

A question I don't know the answer to? How long do I keep checking blogs that for decades posted daily, and now rarely post? Weeks, months? 

What did the Arts opening reception look like? 

What reminded me of family this week?  From sometime in the late 1920's until the mid 1950's my grandfather worked at Ford. He set up and adjusted the massive machines that ground the finishes on gears. He literally would shut down the machine, climb inside of it, and spend  7 or 8 hours meticulously replacing and adjusting every grinding and cutting wheel.  Virtually every new Ford built during those years contained one or more parts, made on the machines that he kept running. This was in one of garages here at the condo, me helped make one or more of the parts that went into it. I have owned 16 cars, and I have never owned a Ford. 

 

Tuesday, November 03, 2026