The Thursday Ramble: Arriving At This Point

As I get older, I think about how I have come to be in the place that I am. Of all of the Ups and Downs my life has taken. Of how far I have come from where I was born. The house I came home to as a baby, is still a mile and half from the nearest paved road - and I am living in a world capital. 

I didn't take a traditional route through education. My parents started "snowbirding" aka going south for the winter months, when I had 5 years of basic education left to complete. I changed schools ten times in those five years.  

College was suggested, but I couldn't decide what I wanted to study and settled that going to college, just to go, would be a waste of time and money until I sorted that out. I started college for 4 or 5 years later; working full time and taking a couple of classes at a time. In a way, I had a major advantage over many of my classmates, because I had worked, filed taxes, bought and sold homes, and traveled. It was easier for me to connect what I was learning, to what I was living. 

My early 30's were a bit of a mid-life crisis. I was unhappy with the work I was doing, and unhappy in a relationship that didn't work. It was time for drastic changes. I busted out of the closet, found my Sweet Bear, moved 800 miles away, and went back to University for an advanced degree. Lots and lots of bold moves, and undoubtedly a few people wondered what I was doing and why.  The year I turned 40 I started an entirely new career, one that carried me forward to retirement. 

Along the way, there were the deaths of grandparents, my one and only Aunt, my parents, and SB's mother. A second marriage. A decision to never hide my personal life from my work life (after being let go from a job after being outed by a friend.) Some periods of prosperity and some periods when I wondered if I would remain solvent. A lot of travel, much of it amazing and life changing, and some of it a lonesome drag that had to be done. 

Every up and down, changed me, rounded off my rough edges, helped me to understand what I wanted in life, and what I didn't want. Helped me to better understand the broader world, including understanding that if I don't understand, it is better to remain silent than speak up and expose my ignorance or prejudice. 

I talked with a friend recently whose oldest child - a young adult - recently came out as transgender. The parents have had different reactions, one has had a hard time accepting, the other is accepting and really deeply concerned that their child finds happiness and acceptance. And the young adult, is struggling a bit. A college student, with slipping grades. Things that worry parents.  With luck the family will navigate these ups and downs, and be shaped by them. The ups and downs of the journey, will lead to the point they are meant to be. 

My World of Wonders: January 21, 2026

Where have I been this week? The National Gallery of Art - I needed a nice wander and to get out of the house. Aldi for a little shopping. The Library for a stack of books that I have read half of already. The pool, the gym, the community center, and an Arts meeting. The Kennedy Center for an NSO performance. The community center to vote in a special election to fill a seat that came open when our state representative was appointed to a state cabinet position by the new Governor. Out for a long walk in a local shopping center (it is cold out, and I wanted to get out of the house.) 

What have I been up to in the kitchen? A quick stuffed pasta, chicken soup with veggies and noodles, Shepherds pie. A pork curry. 

Who have a talked with this week? Saturday morning was an annual open house for all of the programs and communities at the condo. I spent three hours talking with Amy my co-chair, and neighbors from across the community, Dian, Jon, Joan, Rebecca, Kevin, Charlie, and Bonnie (who made me blush.) 

Why did a blush? I was at the community organization expo on Saturday representing the Arts group. She came up to talk, and after a minute said, "oh I know you, I didn't recognize you with your clothes on." I know her from the unofficial Monday and Wednesday water aerobics group, we had always seen one another in the pool.  And then I told a story about an encounter with someone I knew from the gym in Florida, who made the same comment, "I didn't recognize you with your clothes on,"and then he had to spend the next 15 minutes explaining that comment to his wife. He was a Navy officer, build like a brick chicken house. 

How has the weather been? Cold, hovering around or below freezing, rain on and off, a few snow flurries. It is the dead of winter. I bought a pair of fleece lined slippers to keep my toes nice and warm. 

What am I reading? A book on walking as a political statement. It is not what I expected, a little too political for me but I will finish it.  

What made me laugh this week? There was more snow in Florida, than here in the Washington DC area. Snow in Florida just makes me smile. 

Where am I headed? Wednesday I am going into DC for a few hours, the condo is doing maintenance work on the water supply, and the water will be off for several hours.

Will I delete a comment?  Yes, if it links to a commercial page that has nothing to do with the content on my blog. (I did this week.) 

What memory flashback this week?  Sometime in the early 1990's, friends of ours were staying in a condo on Sanibel Island, Florida overlooking the water.  We went down for a couple of nights. We went out to dinner, and I went to go to the bathroom, and there were two serious looking men in dark suits standing in front of the door to the men's room. They stopped me, and muttered something about waiting for a minute. About then the door opened and former President George W. Bush stepped out, they followed him. In shock I think I muttered Good Evening, and then went on about my business. The next day I read in the paper that he was visiting friends on the Island for a few days. Living here in DC, I have been at a lunch with then Vice President Joe Biden, a cocktail party with Hillary Clinton, and a reception hosted by Justice Ginsburg in the Conference Rooms at the Supreme Court. 

Travel Tuesday: Wyoming - Opps in Monochrome

I started taking photographs in black and white, I still have a deep love for monochrome. One click on the selection dial on my cameras and they record in b&w. This is really handy when it is what I think best fits the scene, but once in a while, opps, it gets turned by accident, and the hummingbirds of a lifetime are in monchrome. 

 

Monday Mood: Reminders

The key to your future is on the table, grab it up. 

Don't let fear of something new stand in your way, at one time crawling across the floor was something frighteningly new, you survived that, you will survive this. 

When I left behind my first career, and moved forward into uncertainty, Sweet Bear gave me a card that simply said, "Jump and the Net Will Appear." It was on the wall over my desk at home for years, it reminded me to go boldly into the future. 

Be bold. You are Brave. You are Strong. You can Do This. 

The wrinkles, grey hairs, and scars are the proof a life lived. Be proud of them, be glad that you lived long enough to see them. 

Breathe deeply, inhale the essence of life. 

Thank the world that you have this day.

A great link from Angus in Scotland this week:   https://kevinkelly.substack.com/p/how-will-the-miracle-happen-today 

The Sunday Five: Daily Routine

1: What is your morning routine like? 

2: When do you read and comment on Blogs? 

3: Is there anything you do almost everyday?

4: Do you shop with or without a shopping list? 

5: What should you do, that you don't do? 

My answers:

1: What is your morning routine like? I get up, when I wake up and I am sure I am not going back to sleep, after the toilet, I wash my hands and take my daily pills, pull some clothes on, go to the kitchen and start the coffee and make toast. 

2: When do you read and comment on Blogs? As soon as the toast is ready, I eat breakfast at the desk in my bedroom, and read blogs. 

3: Is there anything you do almost everyday? I walk an hour or more almost every day. 

4: Do you shop with or without a shopping list? Without, there is a running list on the refrigerator door, if it is long I will snap a photo of it with my phone, but most of my shopping is sans list. 

5: What should you do, that you don't do? Vacuum parts of my bedroom floor. 

Please share your answers in the comments. 

The Saturday Morning Post: Feed the Beast of Creativity

Back in my running days, my early 30's, I remember the practice of "carb-loading." Eating meals heavy in carbohydrates the day before a big race with the goal of the body storing up extra accessible fuel for the task ahead. This was especially important before long distance runs, and triathlons, races that always exceeded the longest training sessions.  For a half marathon, 13.1 miles, the rule of thumb was that the longest training run should be about 10 miles, and with carb-loading you would finish the race. This was also a period in my life of living on a austere diet, I forced my body into a thin shape that I had outgrown as a child, an unnatural shape for me - so the carb fest of pasta and bread was a real feast, that my body used to create endurance needed to extraordinary (for me) feats. 

Likewise as creatives we can, we need to, feed our creative powers.  We do this by viewing art, hearing music, reading - reading - reading, tasting, smelling, watching movies, going to the theater; taking it all in.  Spend time in museums, galleries, streets and alleys covered in murals and graffiti, listen to familiar music, and new music, read things you love, read things that you hate, cook your favorites, and try new things.  We feed our creative powers by travel, seeing different and new places and things.  As creatives we need to fill our brains, and our bodies with fuel, with creative fodder. Take every opportunity you can to feed the beast of creativity.  

Foodie Friday: Drinkers edition

Those little blue berries are what makes gin taste like gin. Beyond that other herbs are added, taking the flavor in different directions. I sampled one made here in Virginia, out near the Blue Ridge, that tasted like pine trees. I didn't like it. Hendrix in Scotland has a nice balance.  Bluecoat from Pennsylvania is mild and mixable. But all of them start with Juniper as a base.  Without those little blue berries, it is just flavored vodka. Oh, and no tonic for me. Why water down good gin with bitter water? 

The flavor differences in Bourbon come from three things, the mashbill, the barrel, and how it is aged. The mashbill is the mixture of grain used, always at least 51% corn, beyond that wheat, rye, and barley.  My preference is a wheated bourbon - they are milder and sweeter. There are subtle differences, rye gives bourbon the bite. All of the color, and much of the flavor comes from the new charred white oak barrel, with differences in the selection of the wood, and how it is charred. The rest is how it is aged. How long and in what temperature ranges make the biggest differences. Too long, or too hot and the finished product can taste woody. Long and in moderate temperature is where the magic happens. 

 

The Thursday Ramble: Home

Last week Doc Spo posted a 99 Questions to Ask Your Grandparents, about a favorite or memorable home. This got me to thinking about the places I have lived since moving out of my parents home. 

In 1980 I was hired by a home building company in Orlando, I shared an apartment for a couple of years with my brother, and later with the person who would be my first spouse. Those were utilitarian places of no merit other than being closer to work and the tourist zone. 

I built my first home in 1982, a 2 bedroom, 1 bath home,  with a one car garage, it was about 1,000 sq. ft. of living area. For anyone thinking mortgage rates are high today, I was a first time buyer who qualified for a special discount rate of 13.5% (fixed for 15 years.) 

A year or so after I moved into that one, I built another home. A smaller 2 bedroom, 1 bath, a two unit building. I sold half of the building to my middle brother, and I bought the other half. I never lived there. I rented it for a few years, and parted with it when I parted with the first spouse. My brother still lives there. 

After the duplex was finished, interest rates came down a bit, we sold the first house and I built the third house (second one I would live in.) It was larger about 1250 sq. ft., 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a nice kitchen, and a two car garage. It was a modest home, but I customized it heavily, with nicer doors and trim, redesign on the kitchen, larger enclosed patio. I also built in 71 days from the day the building permit was issued, until the power was turned on and we moved in. I lived in that one until I moved out of Florida and sold it. 

When we moved to Kentucky we had a long weekend to go house shopping, by the end of the second day we had a contract on a nearly finished new home. It was about 1750 sq. ft, two large bedrooms, a large office area that could have been enclosed as a 3rd bedroom, 2 full baths, a two car garage. It is the only home I have lived in that had stairs and a fireplace. The living, dining room, entryway and kitchen had 16 foot ceilings. It was very stylish, very pretty. The largest and in many ways the nicest home I have ever lived in. Lexington was an easy place to live, but it lacked museums, gardens, restaurant variety, culture and shopping we both craved. Traffic is terrible because of a poorly designed road network, my 4 mile commute often took 30 minutes or more.    

A couple of years while I was in law school, I rented a tiny efficiency apartment near the University in Louisville. It had been the living room of grand old brick house, plus a bathroom built in under the stairs. The owner lived upstairs. I would drive in on Monday, study, sleep and study until my classes were done for the week, then go back to Lexington.  Eliminating the commute, allowed me to take Saturdays off. 

When I took the job in Washington DC, I rented an apartment in Crystal City (if you have flown into National Airport, this is the area between the airport and the Pentagon. It was a 2 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath apartment probably about 1,000 sq. ft. The kitchen was tiny and dated. The parking garage was a nightmare and I was driving the largest car I ever owned. It was a five minute walk to the Crystal City Metro Station. I knew when I rented it, it was temporary. If the job worked out, I would be looking to buy. It did, and I did, about a year later. If that apartment had been available to buy - I would have bought it. Amazon now has a massive office building across the street from it. 

I moved from there to a 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, condo that is about 1,120 sq. ft., plus a glass enclosed conservatory. For those not familiar, a condo is an apartment or flat that you own, along the right to use common areas such as the pools and gym.  There are a little over 1,000 apartments in four high rise towers in the community. We are a ten minute walk from the Huntington Metro Station. Over the years we have made it our own.  When I moved in I painted and updated all of the electrical fittings and light fixtures. A few years later we put hardwood floors in all but Sweet Bear's bedroom, the kitchen and baths. We had both bathroom replaced with very custom work. I debated long and hard about tearing out the tub and putting in a shower, the experts all tell you not having a tub will hurt on resale, ultimately we decided we were doing this for us, not for resale, and I wanted an age friendly shower.  The last item was the kitchen remodel.  COVID delayed that work for a couple of years, and supply chain delays made it more complicated, but we waited and custom designed what we wanted, the way we wanted it. I enjoy it everyday. 

If I had to pick a favorite of all of these, it would be the condo that we live in. We have remodeled it to our taste and to fit our needs. The location is easy to live in (it would be nice to be in Crystal city, but it would have cost another half-a-million-dollars to be there.) It is Home. 

 

My World of Wonders January 14, 2026

What have I been up to this week? Friday morning we reset the Showcase, and then I had lunch with a friend I had not seen in a couple of years. Saturday was water aerobics and then the opening for the Landscape art show. 

Who have I talked with this week? Beth, Amy, Ruth, Warren, Giuseppe, Larry, Mary, Anna, Susan, Linda, Kevin, Marcel, 

Where have I been this week? Close to home,  a nice walk and lunch at Mason Social in old town north, the treadmill, the pool, lunch at an Indian restaurant in old town, The National Gallery of Art for a long walk, the library, 

What have I been up to in the kitchen this week? Thursday and Friday nothing. Saturday I slow braised (275f for three hours) round steak with onions, mushrooms, and celery in red wine, with carrots and parsnips, and made a nice sauce from the braising liquid. I made a beef pie - featured in a foodie friday in a couple of weeks. 

Who did I reach out to this week? Stephen - the guy who started me blogging - I was thinking of him when I read about the sheep movie coming out in May, he gifted us the book Three Bags Full that the movie is based on. 

What have I been reading? Pappyland, someone recommended it in a comment on Doc Spo's blog, it is well written and having lived in Lexington and gone to law school in Louisville, the places in the book connect in my brain.  And then started "Spice."  

Travel Tuesday: Walt Disney World 2019

 

Monday Moods: Check up From the Neck Up

Mondays are my weekly check up from the neck up. A few minutes to pause, think and write about what is happening in my mind and my moods. 

Remember to take care of yourself, or you won't be here to take care of others.  My focus is on making this blog a place of kindness, encouragement, and hope. 

As the sun rises each morning, and in the words of Willie Nelson, I "woke up not dead again today", I have the gift of another day, to find happiness, to do a little part to make the world a better place, to seek peace on earth. 

I can choose how I respond to the world. I can suppress the urge to react in instinctive ways. I can pause and reflect, sometimes for a few days before responding.  A week or so, I was asked about joining another board, kind of an honor to be asked. I read through the details, and I didn't respond for several days. It would be meaningful, but also an additional obligation. Ultimately I answered, thank you for the interest, but I really don't want to add anything right now. 

Something a customer service trainer 40 years ago, pounded into my head, it is better to say, "I'd rather turn you down today, than let you down later." If I am not ready to commit, I should say so upfront. The flaw in being "voluntold", being volunteered without being asked, is a lack of commitment leading to poor performance.  I don't need a line on my CV for having my name on a board list, if I don't have time to do the grunt work, I need to remember to say, thanks but no thanks. 

Treat each day as a gift, an opportunity. 

Make wise choices. 

Say, thanks, but no thanks, if that is the best answer for you. 

Think twice, speak once. 

Have a gentle week, take care of yourself. 

I had a longer post written. That talked about the challenges in the world. And there are challenges. I don't want to spread ugliness. Bad news is easy enough to find. I love my daily blog reads, but I have to avoid some posts when I have reached the limit of how much I can let in. If I don't have something kind to say, or the post is outside my sphere, I don't comment. It does not mean that I don't care, or that I haven't read, it simply means I don't have anything positive to say. 

 

The Sunday Five: Idleness

1: When was the last time you spent a day, doing nothing? 

2: What was the last museum you wandered through? 

3: When was your last afternoon nap, planned or unplanned? 

4: What are you reading, just because you want to read it? 

5: How do you feel about wasting time? 

My answers: 

1: When was the last time you spent a day, doing nothing? It has probably been a month ago, a Saturday when I felt like doing nothing and tried to do even a little less than that. 

2: What was the last museum you wandered through? The Hirshorn, a wonderful building and an interesting collection of modern American art. 

3: When was your last afternoon nap, planned or unplanned? Yesterday, I felt the urge and turned off YouTube for 40 minutes or so. 

4: What are you reading, just because you want to read it? A book about spices. 

5: How do you feel about wasting time?  There is no such thing, idle time is time our minds need. 

Please share your answers in the comments. 

The Saturday Morning Post: How Do You Get To Carnegie Hall

There is an old story about a young musician visiting New York City for the first time, he was excited to see the sights, but especially excited to see Carnegie Hall.  Only the best musicians play at Carnegie Hall and the young man's dream was to someday be one of them.  He saw an older man wearing a tuxedo carrying a violin case on the sidewalk and assumed correctly that the man was a professional musician.  He asked the man "how do you get to Carnegie Hall?" The old man replied, "practice, practice, practice." 

With any art, you get better, when you practice your art.  Some researchers say that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to master a skill. Looking back over time, tradesmen apprenticed or 5-10 years, 10,000 to 20,000 hours at 2,000 hours a year. 

To master your art, you have to work at it. This probably means producing years of work, that leaves you wanting to do better.  We learn and develop our skills not by being perfect, but by being imperfect and continuing to work at it.  All too many give up, when the work is not good enough. Every musician who plays the stage at Carnegie Hall, spent years playing music that would not get them on the stage at Carnegie Hall, and learning from it, and continuing to play and practice. 

Not that all of us will be great artists, but we can all be better artists, to get there we need to follow the old man's advice, practice, practice, practice.   

Freestyle Friday: YouTubers that I enjoy

There are hundreds of extremely talented content producers laboring away.  YouTube has provided a platform not only to share content, but also to monetize that content. The feeds with 1,000,000 or more subscribers, most likely are earning a full time living from it. It can't be easy. But many produce wonderful content. 

I watch less and less commercial television. With over 100 channels to choose from, there is often little that I am interested in. Why do they call it the travel channel, if it is mostly ghost hunting? Why did the Food Network become an endless stream of poorly conceived cooking competitions and game shows? 

Here are a few of favorites from independent producers: 

https://www.youtube.com/@ThePethericks

Billy is a British guy, partnered with a French woman and two delightful children, living in a small town in France. They own a Chateau, and are renovating a Convent. Most of the content is about the renovation process. He posts about five times a week. 

https://www.youtube.com/@escapetoruralfrance

Dan is another Brit, living in rural France. He is divorced (in the last couple of years) with a couple of kids. He started about two years ago, rescuing a burned out Chateau, when he started there were literally trees growing inside the shell that had suffered a devastating fire 40 years before. With just a handful of people working, the progress has been amazing. He posts four or five times a week, with a couple of breaks a year when he travels with his children. 

https://www.youtube.com/@Brianslifeinfrance

Brian is an Irish guy, living in rural France.  Brian's Life in France is a spin off from Escape to Rural France. When Brian first bought his little farm in France, he hired Dan to help rebuild fences on the farm. For the last year and a half, Brian has been working for Dan helping to rebuild the Chateau. When not working on the Chateau he fiddles around on his farm, and explores the wonders of France, hop in the car and let's go. He posts 2 to 5 times a week, depending on the work schedule at the Chateau. 

https://www.youtube.com/@GlenAndFriendsCooking

Glen and Friends Cooking is based near Toronto, Canada. Glen has a background in commercial video production and about ten years ago, he started making videos for YouTube.  He collects cookbooks, and does research. He build a kitchen studio behind his home. When he finishes each recipe, his charming wife appears and taste tests the results along with him. I love his style of working, his understanding that there is no one correct way. He cooks by technique not chemistry formula. He posts a couple of times a week, and also has an aviation channel and a cocktails channel.  I heard about him by reading a blog. 

https://www.youtube.com/@PrintmakingwithEugene

Printmaking with Eugene is based in Singapore. I am exploring linocut printing, something I have not done in 45 years. This is a relatively new and small channel. He posts about once a week, the videos are about 10 minutes long. His style and work is very peaceful. He is a little soft spoken, you may need to turn the volume up. 

https://www.youtube.com/@rewildingjude

Rewilding Jude is based in Rural Scotland. After his parents died, he decided to make bold choices and live his life his way, and that included buying a fixer upper in the Scottish Highlands, planting a big garden, keeping chickens, learning new ways to make things with his own hands. He posts nearly every weekend, one 20-30 minute video. Give him a watch. There is more to the story of the talented and brave young man. 

https://www.youtube.com/@ChateauPoseidon

Chateau Poseidon is two Canadian guys, starting work on a Chateau in rural France. This channel is new this year. The channel started with their move from Vancouver, and arrival at their new home in France. The first project has been rebuilding the gardener's house to live in while starting on the massive neglected Chateau. They are cute, and very talented. They post once a week, again in the 20-30 minute range. 

These are channels that I have found that have good story telling, editing, production, that move forward with intelligence. 

The Thursday Ramble: Be True To Thine Own Self.

Stay true to thine own self, a slight variation on Shakespeare. There have been a few points in my life when this needed to guide my way forward. The first home building company I worked had been a small family owned company, I was there seven years, in the last few months I was there the company was sold to an international conglomerate,  lots of change took place, I was miserable. I looked around, found another job, I remember going into the bosses office to resign, when she asked why, the words "I have lost the faith" tumbled out. I didn't believe in the way the company was starting to do business. To be true to myself, I needed to move on.

Certainly admitting to the world that I am gay, attracted to men, was a huge step in being true to thine own self.  I had hidden behind the closet door, making myself and sadly others miserable in the process.  I remember saying to my first spouse, "you are not happy, I am not happy, and we both deserve happiness." Change is miserable, but sometimes essential to be true to yourself, to find your happiness. 

There is a line in a Jimmy Buffet song, "he went to Paris, seeking answers to questions that bothered him so." Many of us, struggle to define the question. When you define what bothers you, change it. Do what is needed.  Sometimes regime change starts at home. 

It is a rough week. Take care of yourself. Don't let the world eat you alive. Be true to thine own self. Oh, and come November, VOTE like your life depended on it. 

My World of Wonders - January 7, 2026

Where have I been this week? Mostly around home, the pool, the treadmill.  A shopping run to Target and Aldi.  Giuseppe and Larry hosted First Friday, so we were up to the 6th floor, Anna and Susan invited everyone to the 8th floor to see their spectacular kitchen has just been finished after more than 2 months of work. It is the time of the year when my car only gets driven once or twice a week.  

What have I been up to in the Kitchen? I made roast pork, baked beans and roasted carrots and parsnips for New Year's day. For First Friday I made mini quiches, Saturday Sweet Bear was feeling off so I didn't cook, Sunday was meatloaf. Pork Schnitzel on Tuesday. 

What have I been read? Two books, My Queer, Unsettled Life a bio-history by Mitchell's hubby, and How Dry We Weren't a book about prohibition in Washington DC. Not bad, two books in the first week of the year. I have about four more books on the stack, and I should make a library run sometime soon. 

When am I planning to leave the house? I am having lunch with a former colleague on Friday, I haven't talked with her in two years. 

What artsy things am I up to? There is a portrait on the easel, Friday is change out for the Showcase, the Gallery show is being changed by another committee this month, the Show Opening I Saturday afternoon.  

What am I blogging about?  The creative Saturday Morning Posts are being created ahead of time, and I have started creating posts for the month we will on a great adventure in late spring. I will have a month of posts planned before we leave - work on that has already started. 

What about the annoying advertising?  Ads have been minimized, the payment threshold has been reached, as soon as the next payment transfer takes place, I will eliminate the last of the ads on this site. It was a noble experiment. 

What sadness hit the blogging family this week? Judy, the wife of Bruce at Oddball Observations died this week. Judy was 89, they had been together for decades and decades. The same day, Diane at House Dust and Wanderlust shared the sad news of two death's in her life, the daughter of a friend and the older brother of another friend.  

 

Travel Tuesday: Onward to France

 

Monday Mood: Why Are We Here?

What is the purpose of our being here? What is the value of our existence? Deep questions. At various times in my life I have had different answers.  

The first half of my adult working life, it was all about me. I had a series of jobs, that were really a competition, we were all out to prove that we were the best, that we could sell more, build more, build it faster, make more money than the other person. I was obsessed, the goal was to be something that we weren't. My purpose was to make money, for others, hoping that it would trickle down to me.  My value, and a great extent my self worth, was based on the stream of income I produced. I was really not happy, and spent a few years looking for a way out. 

Then I was very-very fortunate, to be able to take three years off from the real world, in my late 30's, and go back to school, to law school to earn a doctorate in my field.  I went expecting that I would come out and go back into the same rat race, but at a different level of rats. Then the summer between first and second year of law school, I decided to complete a mandatory-volunteer-service requirement (is it really voluntary if it is required?) I needed 30 hours of volunteer time, I ended up with about 120 over about 8 weeks, time spent helping improve the lives of others. I learned about purpose and meaning that summer.  A purpose of helping others to live a better life. 

That led to a career in public interest law, that filled, often to overflowing because I can be obsessive and over committed for 25 years. Work that had great purpose, and filled my life with meaning. I am very glad I did it.  I made a real difference in the lives of others, and doing so made it difference in my life. 

Two years ago this week, I retired. It has taken some time and some work to adjust, and I still look in the mirror sometimes and wonder how I can be old enough to not be working everyday. But I am. And the longer I am the more fulfilled I am with being so. What is my purpose in retirement, to be good to myself, to accept and love myself, to be kind to others, to encourage others to find peace and happiness, to create and share. To think and understand the wisdom that develops from the struggles over 50 years of labor. I am here, to be comfortable and happy. And that is enough. 

I don't regret 25 years helping others, I did my share. That was my purpose for a quarter of a century, it is no longer. I am glad I did it, and glad I have moved on to finding the happiness I thought that first 20 years of work would bring me, and didn't.  

The Sunday Five: Kelly's Inspiration New Year W

Why these photos? Kelly is a master gardener, and a talented artist. This display at the Hirshorn combines her to passions in life.  

Our dear friend Kelly posted these on FB on New Years Eve, she is married to Bob, who used to post as Woodchuck, he was one of the first bloggers we met in person.   

1:What would you like to have accomplished in one year from now?

2:What new ideas do you plan to pursue in the next year?

3:What was the most difficult thing you traversed this year?

4:What is the most important lesson that you have learned this past year?

5:What was unknown to you a year ago?

My Answers:

1:What would you like to have accomplished in one year from now? I hope to be a better painter, I am working on faces at the moment. 

2:What new ideas do you plan to pursue in the next year? Exploring the familiar and finding new details in the everyday. 

3:What was the most difficult thing you traversed this year? Remaining positive when others are terrified of the world. 

4:What is the most important lesson that you have learned this past year? To relax and enjoy the freedom of not working. 

5:What was unknown to you a year ago? The beauty of St. Andrews in Scotland. 

Please share your answers in the comments.