Monday Mood: Time for Change

I know of two female friends were sexually assaulted by people we knew, members of the group of young adults we hung out with, and everyone treated it as just one of those things that happens. As a middle aged adult, and an older adult, I have had two female friends tell me how being sexually assaulted as a young adult, has impacted their life. One of them blames her now deceased parents for not taking her seriously when she spoke up - the result was a lack of trust not only of her parents, but of other adults to defend or protect her. The hurt was still real 40 years later. The other one blames herself because she was drinking with college friends. She felt damaged by the experience. Good therapy later in life has made a real difference for her. The experiences screwed up their lives. 

It is time for change. 

Stand up and speak out. 

The bullshit of not wanting to ruin the life of a young man for a "youthful indiscretion" overlooks the life long impact on the young woman.  A friend brought up the Cornell rape case, and pointed out that the woman had been drinking and taking drugs, and needs to take "responsibility for her actions." 

We need to teach teenagers and young adults, that consent requires conscious decisions. Someone who is impaired by drugs or alcohol is unable to give consent, even if they shuck their clothes off and say YES, YES, YES. Any sexual activity with a person who is intoxicated is non-consensual, because the person lacked the ability to truly consider the act they are saying yes to. 

No one ever talked to me about this aspect of consent, until I was in law school. That is a massive failure in our educational system. It is time for change. 

Take the survivor of sexual assault seriously. 

Teach the concept of valid consent. 

If necessary, amend the laws to recognise that a drunk or drugged yes, is a NO. Getting someone drunk and taking advantage of them is or needs to be a crime. 

Hold the criminals responsible. Screw up their lives, they lacked the judgement to go onto become elected officials and judges. Their actions screwed up the life of another person.  

This was not what I had planned for today, but the commentary on the Cornell case made me want to speak out. 

The Sunday Five: tiny tacos

1: Tacos, hard shell or soft shell? 

2: Beef, pork, chicken, fish, shrimp, or veggie? 

3: Mild, spicy, or very spicy? 

4: Tiny, medium, or large? 

5: Chips with salsa or guacamole? 

My Answers: 

1: Tacos, hard shell or soft shell?  Soft shell. 

2: Beef, pork, chicken, fish, shrimp, or veggie? Beef, I actually like Taco Bell's mystery meat. 

3: Mild, spicy, or very spicy? Mild. 

4: Tiny, medium, or large? Large.

5: Chips with salsa or guacamole? Salsa.

Please share your answers in the comments. 

This the second version of this post, using this image. The first one was just too weird. 

The Saturday Morning Post: Practice Leads to Improvement

 I was working on updating the digital display for the local arts group, and Renee stopped to talk. I explained to her what I was doing, and about the upcoming gallery shows. 

She has taken up watercolor painting. She took a drawing class and was deeply surprised to find that she is pretty good at it. That led to her trying her hand at watercolors. She has a three year old granddaughter in New York. She said she was playing with her granddaughter and mentioned that she had taken up painting. The child said, "oh please send me one of your paintings." When she returned home she did that, mailing a small watercolor to her granddaughter. When it arrived there was a phone call expressing great delight and a plea to "please send me more." This has led to three mailings a week and three phone calls of delight every week. 

She said she has been delighted by how much her painting has improved, the more she does, the happier she is with the results. And her granddaughter loves receiving the steady stream of work. 

What a fun way to develop her creative abilities. 

Friday Rant: Stop the Insanity

 Warning, I am going to talk about the news and get political, if this is a trigger for you protect yourself and come back tomorrow. I promise to be better. 

Government needs to get out of the murder business.  You don't end murder, by murdering your own citizens.  People commit some very horrible crimes. Millennia of the death penalty has not changed this. 

And now Tennessee botches an execution, apparently for the SECOND TIME THIS YEAR. The latest was given two "lethal" injections, and an hour later was still breathing, still snoring, and was taken to the hospital.  The person she murdered, died with more comfort. I will go beyond we need to find a better way to kill people, we have lots of effective ways to murder people, the Government needs to set an example of good behavior and end the Death Penalty. It is not a deterrent, it does not rehabilitate anyone. If murder is wrong, it is wrong for the government to commit murder. Period. All of the god fearing quasi Christians in government should burn in their hell for allowing this travesty to continue. 

What about redemption, turning the other cheek, the concept of no one being without sin, do they fail to understand. Revenge and retribution only feed the anger and hurt. 

So what do we do with persons who have committed horrible crimes? Help them to live a better life. The prison system calls itself the Correctional System, it needs to provide an environment and support to help people learn to live in a civilized society. Few people are truly beyond hope.  We need to help people find a better way. And if we cannot, we still should not commit murder to try to discourage murder. If murder is wrong, it is wrong for the government to murder. Let alone when it can't even get that right.  

The Thursday Ramble: Get Out and Go

It is the season to get out and go. We had a long hot summer. A summer that made us want to stay inside. Not that we couldn't go outside, but that it was generally unpleasant to go outside. The heat and humidity were relentless this year. The Mall in Washington DC, the great American font lawn, was a three ring circus this summer - elect a clown - and you get a circus. Not a place we wanted to spend anytime. And with fall, this is all changing, the weather has changed becoming pleasantly cooler, the circus has folded its tent, taken down the reviewing stands and left town. 

In the past couple of weeks, I have gone into the city for a museum walk, out to Mt Vernon for the fall Colonial Fair and Market, into old town Alexandria just to walk, to go to lunch, and to do a little shopping, across the River to National Harbor for a long walk about. We have taken a little overnight trip to Maryland, and soon a road trip to upstate New York. Ah, we are escaping the self imposed confinement of summer. 

In what other ways do we self impose confinement? 

My World of Wonders: September 30, 2026

 

Where have I been this week? If all has gone to plan, Cambridge Maryland, on the southern end of the Chesapeake Bay. I had a photo in a jurried show at the Dorchester Center for the Arts, the show is over and it was time to collect the piece. We made a road trip out of it, spending the night and hopefully having time to explore a bit. 

Where else have I been? Aldi, the community center, the pool, the treadmill. Old Town Alexandria for a long walk. Old Town for a second walk and a little shopping. I needed to pick up supplies to bake fruit cakes later this week. 

What have I been up to in the kitchen? I poached a chicken - from that we had chicken and rice, and chicken pot pies, and I have about 4 cups of chicken stock to cook with. A pork stew, a had a pork tenderloin and didn't feel like roasting it.  Dice and saute one small onion, quarter half a dozen mushrooms,  two stalks celery, one small white turnip, one golden beet, two medium potatoes, two medium carrots peeled and chopped, cube the pork, a couple of cups of the chicken stock, some red wine, salt, pepper, and old bay. Simmer for a couple of hours.  It was delightful on a cool wet day. 

Who deserves a slap this week? The UPS delivery driver who left my package outside someone else's door last Friday afternoon. There are 250 almost identical doors in this building, over 1,000 in the four high rise towers. At least 2 slaps out of 5. 

Who deserves a big THANK YOU and a hug this week? The neighbor who realized that the box left at their door was not theirs, and delivered it to the right door. (I have done the same over the years.)

Who deserves a HUGE THANK YOU? The dear friend who sent me an irreplaceable gift. 

What am I reading? A book about mental illness and creative persons, artists, writers, film makers, actors. Many live a complicated life. 

What is on the easel? A fresh start, primed in a metallic powder blue. 

What am I drinking? I recently opened a bottle of Four Roses Single Barrel, it is exceptionally good. A little at a time, the bottle will last me a month or so.   The origins of the name Four Roses. A young man met a young lady that he wanted to get to know better. He asked her to dance with him at an upcoming ball, and she said, she would think about it. If the answer was yes, she would be carrying a red rose at the ball, when he arrived she was holding four roses. He named his new business Four Roses. 

Travel Tuesday: Colonial Fair and Market at Mt Vernon