As I get older, I think about how I have come to be in the place that I am. Of all of the Ups and Downs my life has taken. Of how far I have come from where I was born. The house I came home to as a baby, is still a mile and half from the nearest paved road - and I am living in a world capital.
I didn't take a traditional route through education. My parents started "snowbirding" aka going south for the winter months, when I had 5 years of basic education left to complete. I changed schools ten times in those five years.
College was suggested, but I couldn't decide what I wanted to study and settled that going to college, just to go, would be a waste of time and money until I sorted that out. I started college for 4 or 5 years later; working full time and taking a couple of classes at a time. In a way, I had a major advantage over many of my classmates, because I had worked, filed taxes, bought and sold homes, and traveled. It was easier for me to connect what I was learning, to what I was living.
My early 30's were a bit of a mid-life crisis. I was unhappy with the work I was doing, and unhappy in a relationship that didn't work. It was time for drastic changes. I busted out of the closet, found my Sweet Bear, moved 800 miles away, and went back to University for an advanced degree. Lots and lots of bold moves, and undoubtedly a few people wondered what I was doing and why. The year I turned 40 I started an entirely new career, one that carried me forward to retirement.
Along the way, there were the deaths of grandparents, my one and only Aunt, my parents, and SB's mother. A second marriage. A decision to never hide my personal life from my work life (after being let go from a job after being outed by a friend.) Some periods of prosperity and some periods when I wondered if I would remain solvent. A lot of travel, much of it amazing and life changing, and some of it a lonesome drag that had to be done.
Every up and down, changed me, rounded off my rough edges, helped me to understand what I wanted in life, and what I didn't want. Helped me to better understand the broader world, including understanding that if I don't understand, it is better to remain silent than speak up and expose my ignorance or prejudice.
I talked with a friend recently whose oldest child - a young adult - recently came out as transgender. The parents have had different reactions, one has had a hard time accepting, the other is accepting and really deeply concerned that their child finds happiness and acceptance. And the young adult, is struggling a bit. A college student, with slipping grades. Things that worry parents. With luck the family will navigate these ups and downs, and be shaped by them. The ups and downs of the journey, will lead to the point they are meant to be.
Wishing your friends and their child a smoother road, comfort, and happiness.
ReplyDeleteYes, very much so. So many complex changes are a lot to process.
DeleteLife is full of ups and downs, that's for sure, but there's no real happiness unless we can truly be ourselves. Best wishes to that young trans person. May they find their footing and live their life.
ReplyDeleteLife has gotten easier over the past 50 years.
DeleteThere are always twists and turns and I hope the parent that is having difficulty understanding their trans child will realize the child is the same person, they are just more themselves now.
ReplyDeleteWe're all just people who deserve respect and love.
That parents is dealing with many issues, and not coping well. It takes time.
DeleteThere are so many ups and downs in life, it's interesting to think about how we handled them. I do hope that the parents and child you mentioned are able to work their way through their situation and come out as one big happy family.
ReplyDeleteOne of the parents is very supportive and loving.
DeleteMy one and only aunt and uncle have passed. My mom's sibling was her brother, my dad was an only child. I would always tell them, "You're my very favorite aunt," or "You're my very favorite uncle." I miss them. They were very fun and very cool people.
ReplyDeleteI had one Aunt, my mother was an only child, my father had one sister.
DeleteThis is marvelously well-written. To put that immense scope into amazingly few words is a real accomplishment. (Though perhaps you could have said a bit more about how wonderful I am... 😘😘😘)
ReplyDeleteYou are the light of my life.
DeleteI'm glad you have found your way to your wonderful life with your Sweet Bear.
ReplyDeleteMaking a couple of bold choices, have led to a good place.
DeleteThoughts go to the transgender person of course, but that it can be difficult for even the most accepting parent should not be ignored.
ReplyDelete