Thursday, October 22, 2026

The Thursday Ramble: Origins

Origin is not destiny, but where we came from, shapes parts of who we are, as we move forward in life. I have landed on my feet a long way from where I started, and yet the history of where I started shapes a part of my life today. 

My grandfathers were farmers. My mother's parents had sold the farm in an early medical retirement by the time I was in school.  We lived on the same farm that my paternal grandparents lived on when I was born and growing up. My grandfather gave my parents five acres of the farm and they built a small house, settled in and raised a family. 

My grandparents raised a large garden, I spent many summer and Autumn days helping in their garden and helping my grandmother with canning and freezing the bounty of the garden.  We were surrounded by active farms, dairy, beef, pigs, and chickens. Fields of wheat, corn, and hay. The rhythm of the growing season is embedded in my being.  But it was a terribly isolating place to be. The house I grew up in is still over a mile from the nearest paved road. There were few neighbors, and my mother was not the most neighborly person.  

When I was in the first grade, the first time around, we lived in Phoenix Arizona for 4 or 5 months. The place left a magical impression on my brain. Changing schools a couple of times during that early stage, was a disaster. I spent another year in the first grade. That experience left me with a fear of failure. A fear that persisted through college, and graduate school, and passing the Bar Exam. I studied harder than most. It was an unhealthy fear that drove me to extremes, but it also resulted in doing well in school.  Maybe it is why I still read voraciously. 

When I was in the 8th grade, my parents started spending winters in Florida, the first winter in a large planned development north of Tampa named Spring Hill, then after that on the east coast, across the intercoastal waterway from the Space Center in Titusville, Florida. I had a bike, there were two shopping malls in town, I rode to and from school almost all of the time. It was a large town, really not large enough to be a city - more than I could explore in a day. 

Those early experiences continue to shape who I am. I greatly respect the countryside, and farms, but I have no desire to live in isolation again. That fear of failure, drove me to study more than most, something that probably continues to drive my professional writing. Those summer days helping my grandmother are the roots of my love of playing in the kitchen and of working with fresh real ingredients.  

I have landed a long way from where I started, but where I started shapes who I am here and now. 

16 comments:

  1. You’ve lived a fascinating and surprising life.

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    1. There were a few exciting years, after I left the farm.

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  2. I began as a boy on a farm and I only partly escaped when I was 16, and fully at 19. Like you, I am very shaped by my early upbringing, and what I think most about is the hypocrisy of the time. The community was close knit, which sounds positive but not for new arrivals like my parents. The mores of the time were strict, but so much was happening behind the scenes. I still feel a sense of rejection that my pedo scout master never molested me. Wasn't I a cute kid? (Yes, I am making light of a serious crime against children, but I really do wonder why not)

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    1. What a can of worms that question opens.

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  3. That's valid self-examination. All of us carry gifts and burdens from our childhoods. The idea that you can ever shake it all off is ridiculous. It's there in the very definitions of who we are and how we behave.

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  4. Yes, the drive of driven people usually arises as an unhealthy, unconscious coping mechanism to deal with some negative emotion or experience. I know that from my own experience too. And yet, it can also bring some positive outcomes as a result, although at a heavy price.

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    1. It took me a long time to figure out all that was going on.

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  5. We are all parts of our childhood and of our parents' experiences, but we do have the will and the power to remake ourselves. Hopefully each generation learns to improve upon the past.

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    1. And somehow the courage to move and change. Taking that bold leap to Miami.

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  6. It is interesting to think about the paths our lives take.

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  7. I started in Chicago and still live in a suburb of Chicago. For a short while I lived in the Milwaukee, WI area but the majority of my life has been spent in the suburbs of Chicago. You've made a really good life for yourself, David.

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    1. Chicago is a neat city, the winters are a bit chilly. I have lived in five states.

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  8. The older I get, the more I feel shaped by my childhood, living in a small Derbyshire village. Much of what I do day to day is the same as the way my parents went about things and more than anything I love the countryside.

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    1. I like the countryside, but I would find it hard to live there.

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