Some Days

Some days life is hard, some days I feel like I am being scavenged for parts, some days I feel like I am locked in place - unable to escape.  I had a weird dream one night recently, in the dream I was working intensely in my office, I looked up and someone had taped a note to my computer monitor, that read  in block type on a plain white paper, "Run, you moron!" (Or was it "Run you fool!"?) 

Don't get me wrong, I have a good job, my boss challenges me, but allows me a lot of freedom, I am able to work on issues that I believe in, I do think we are making a difference, but when my time to go arrives, I will be out the door.  

A colleague who retired a couple of years ago and still chairs a couple of committees and was in the office the other day, looking all tanned and relaxed (the relaxed part being new.) When he left I looked at my boss and said, "Bob is proof that there is life after this job."  Then I added, "46 months." The boss looked a little stunned, he said he still enjoys his work and has never really drawn a line in the sand.  I also find my work rewarding, but I have set a target date, August 1, 2023. 

At one time I thought I would work until they found me decomposing at my desk. Over time I have come to understand there are things I want to do, that being tied to the office make it difficult for me to do. The longer I am locked to the job, the more opportunities to go or do that pass by, never to return. I am well paid, it will be hard to walk away from the money (and no I don't have a large guaranteed pension,) but I have also calculated that we will have enough income to live comfortably, and everything we own is paid for.  Happiness or worth in life is not measured by who dies with the most money (or the most toys.) 

My parents should have spent more of their savings.  They lived on the income for 30+ years, but the principle actually grew most of that time. Only in the last couple of years of their lives when they were too sick to really enjoy it, did they dip into savings.  As my father proved you can't take it with you - and a month after he died I cancelled his credit card (a family member was still using it to order things on Amazon- or maybe it was him?) 

Some days, I think I should work until I drop, there is so much to do, but most days I think it is time to turn this over to the next generation.  To build them up, load them with skills, knowledge and a sense of purpose, and quietly fade away.  Some days, I get frustrated with the slowness of progress and wonder if I am part of the solution, or part of the problem.  

What one thing do you want to do in retirement that you can't (or couldn't) do while working?