When I was in my late 20's, my mother gave me an envelope with all of my school report cards or grade reports. I had no idea that she had kept them. If I dig through them, especially some of the early ones, I am sure I will find comments from teachers, that "he talks too much." I sometimes wonder if I still do. Over the years I have heard the old sayings, you have two ears and one mouth, you should listen twice as much as you talk, and better to remain silent and have them wonder if you are a fool, than to speak up and confirm that you are. And yet I talk. Often more than I should. I seldom say something that I regret saying, a few random comments over the years haunt me - thoughts that were unkind and should have remained unsaid.
My worry is that I bore people by talking too much.
Like many, I dislike silence. There is an old principle in sales, that when a sale is asked for (a closing question is asked) the next person who talks buys it. All to often the sales person grows afraid of the silence and speaks first.
In professional speaking, and I have done a lot of it over the years; and when presenting training, I worked hard on making what I said, worth listening to. I also tried to make use of silence. I remember one time, I was doing a training on elder abuse for AARP in Nashville. I showed a video clip of an older gentleman who was being financially exploited by a handsome younger man. I asked the open questions about what was going on, why did the older man allow it to happen? And waited for the answers. A few came in, and no one would say gay. Finally, after probably 30 seconds - but it felt like an hour, I spoke up. "I know there are Gay Men in Nashville, my ex-wifes' first ex-husband lives here."* The silence broken, and people started to talk - a - little.
So what is the photo? Lion's Mane Mushrooms at a Sunday Market in Phoenix, locally grown.
*She seems to have had better luck on the third, though she never married this one, he moved in with her two weeks after she moved out in 1991- and they are still together.
I sometimes think I might gabble away without giving much thought to what I am saying. I am always watching for signs of people drifting away as I am recounting something I think it important. It happens. I am not a good speaker.
ReplyDeleteI forget to keep it short.
DeleteWell, as you know, I’m a talker. And I am often bothered by that. I do try to rein it in.
ReplyDeleteYour gay men in Nashville line was wonderful.
I never in a million years would have guessed those were mushrooms.
You are so fun to talk with.
DeleteI thought the photo was of some kind of fleecy objects!
ReplyDeleteWould we know how to cook with them?
DeleteMy mother used to joke with her friends that I didn't start talking until I was 18 years old, and then I made up for lost time.
ReplyDeleteI was quite a shy kid, but that's long over.
Those mushrooms like like something you'd use in a shower: softer loofah?
We should meet for lunch one day.
DeletePlease, my mother never thought I would talk. I was walking by time I was t w o, but for some reason I would not talk till I was almost five. Now she says I never shut up.
ReplyDeleteAnd you are do fun to talk with
DeleteAs a schoolteacher for thirty eight years, I had to do a lot of talking in classrooms and with my colleagues but I have never suffered from verbal diarrhoea. I am a very good listener and I think that the following saying is really true: "Empty vessels make most noise".
ReplyDeleteI hope I am not empty.
Delete-- "I know there are Gay Men in Nashville, my ex-wifes' first ex-husband lives here." That is pure brilliance!
ReplyDelete-- I thought those were fleeces too.
-- You do have a tendency to say the same thing over again in different words. 😘
There are moments when I come up with a good line.
DeleteI sometimes bother people because I'm too quiet. I've never seen anything like those mushrooms. They look like fleece or terrycloth.
ReplyDeleteThere was a small street market on Roosevelt, one of the vendors had them
DeleteI have a bad habit of interrupting some times which I am working on. I'm also quite the talker and use it to be sociable and friendly when I am out and about.
ReplyDeleteI should practice active listening, waiting for the person to finish talking, before I start thinking of what I will say.
DeleteMe, too!
DeleteI like both noise and complete silent. My husband needs background noise. So when he is gone. I turn all sound off.
ReplyDeleteThe fear of talking too much has been a life long concern for me. It comes so easily to me.
ReplyDelete