I still miss it

I started running seriously in my late 20's, I finished my first race on my 30'th birthday, a sprint series triathlon at Sea World in Orlando.  Running became an addiction, if I missed more than a couple of days, I missed it.  I liked the feeling of moving, the peace (this was before I-pods and MP3 players, I ran with the thoughts in my mind, the music in my soul.) I loved the feeling 4-5 minutes into each run when my lungs cleared and a feeling of well being settled in. When I finished I would be exhausted and rested.  It is hard to explain how you can be both at the same time - it is a runners thing.

I was never going to finish first, I never had the biomechanics to be a runner, but over time I improved.  I moved from merely finishing to being solidly in the top 1/3rd in my age class.  I dropped a lot of weight, I was also obsessive about my diet, to the point that I could be unpleasant to go out to dinner with (sorry!)

I eventually stopped, the demands of moving, living a new place with a lack of friendly places to run, wet and winter weather, work and graduate school broke the habit the obsession.   But I still miss the feeling.  A couple of year's ago my oldest brother quit smoking.  He remarked at Thanksgiving that the smell brought on cravings - my father spoke up, he had quit smoking before I was born and said, "hell, after 55 years the smell still brought on cravings."  I know how they feel, I still miss running.