My college alumni association keeps trying to organize a Washington DC chapter, and turn out reportedly is underwhelming, so they try again a year or so later and make the exact same mistake. The organizing meeting is a cocktail party at a "Private Club" in DC, hosted by a prominent local alumnus. The "Club" has a strict dress code, men MUST wear a coat and tie, and NO ATHLETIC SHOES. I simply decline the invitation, I don't dress for dinner, I have worn dress shoes once in the past five years, and then only when I had a relatively short distance to walk or time that I expected to stand in them. I wear mostly running shoes. I have a couple of pair in simple black, with black soles. They are not flashy Air-someone's, they are simple dark shoes that I can walk and stand in for two or three hours. I am old, my feet and legs are not what they once were. I wear shoes that fit my needs. The last time I wore a tie was a funeral, the next time I wear one, will probably be another funeral. This is not 1926, we don't dress for dinner. The dress code is decades out of date with the way people live. It is attempt at elitism.
I don't need to dress to impress.
I have only once been turned away for not being appropriately dressed at a restaurant. And it gave me one of my favorite stories. It was January of 1991 in Paris, I was wearing Levis 501's, a navy blue Scottish wool sweater (I still have the sweater), an expensive brown leather jacket, and timberland hiking boots, and the doorman at Maxim's literally pushed me back in the taxi at lunch time. We went around the corner, up a narrow side street and had an extraordinary lunch in a tiny restaurant with Michelin Stars on the wall, and a lifetime of storytelling. If you are going to be turned away at the door, this is a great place to start. I won't try to go there again.
Dress code for most people has disappeared here, now only for the most formal occasions. No one wears a tie to a funeral anymore, nor often enough a suit.
ReplyDeleteWe had a Maxims restaurant here and your mention of it is going to send me down a rabbit hole. I think you could say, "I had the privilege of not being allowed into Maxims".
The USA is still senselessly formal in some places.
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ReplyDeleteOnce in San Francisco a group of us decided to go to the Top of the Mark at the Mark Hopkins. In we went and up the elevator and we got off on the top floor, walked about three feet in and saw a man scurrying toward us to tell us that "street clothes" were not acceptable.
I never went back, even when dressed, ahem, appropriately.
The time I tried that one, it was closed for a private event.
DeleteI don't dress up fancy anymore. I don't go to fancy places that require fancy clothes. I thought most places were relaxed about that now but I have no idea.
ReplyDeleteMost places have moved away from formal dress/.
DeleteI agree about that cocktail party. They would have much better luck with business casual. I had to chuckle that you still have that sweater from 1991. I have several things in my closet that date back that far.
ReplyDeleteI bought it in London in May of 1990, I wear it almost every winter.
DeleteAnother thing we have in common. As long as people look clean and “smart” that should be good enough.
ReplyDeleteAgreed
DeleteI once got denied entry to the Limelight in New York City because I was with a friend who was wearing running shoes. We weren't broken up about it. We went to Webster Hall and had a great time!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, in this day and age it's ridiculous to expect men to wear jackets and ties, particularly in the summer.
Especially in the heat you are experiencing.
DeleteYes, restaurants and other establishments need to "get with the times." The business casual/smart casual is how people go nowadays. I still have some old sweaters that I wear, too. They are timeless.
ReplyDeleteHere in DC, it is mostly private clubs that turn people away,
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