A comment from a neighbor and post by Doc Spo, have me thinking about the best years of my life. I am nearing two years since I retired. And I have been thinking about what that means.
In my mind it is hard to fathom that I am old enough to be retired. I remember my paternal grandfather retiring, he seemed so old (and would die in less than 5 years.) In reality he was about the age I am now. My parents retired early, in their late 50's, then went back to work for a few years and retired a second time in their 60's. They didn't really seem old to me, until their health started to seriously fail in their 80's. But here I am past my middle 60's and no longer working for a living.
At the pool recently a friend was commenting on his retirement. He worked for a major auto manufacturer for 30+ years, and retired. Was bored and went back to work a few months later. Then they told him he had to work weekends, and he said, "No I don't - I quit", and that was the end of work for him.
He said that for most Americans our identity is so closely tied to our work, that retirement is a struggle of self identity. How to self identify in retirement is an adjustment that all of us must make. Almost two years in, and I still struggle with this. I am retired, but then I tend to add what I am retired from, tagging my current identity to my past identity. I knew this would be a challenge for me, and I will keep working on it.
We are taught to not talk about money. We are warned as older adults to not tell anyone about money, scammers are always looking for a pot of gold, and family will suck you dry just as fast.
I have read that the greatest risk of poverty among middle class retirees is an unwillingness to spend the retirement savings that we have spent a lifetime saving. From childhood we are told, taught, to save for the future, no one really talks about what you do with it in the future. Stock brokers are eager to offer advice that generates commissions for them, and continues to build the size of the portfolio, after all the more you have - the more they can potentially make.
We have reached the point in life when we are no longer saving for retirement, and yet we find ourselves reluctant to spend against what we have saved. I watched my parents do the same, Dad's investment account was more than twice as much when he died as it was when he retired 30 years earlier. Yes they drew income from it. They lived well, but they should have lived even more comfortably.
I am struggling with this. Worried that spending $234 on a replacement lens a couple of weeks ago was not absolutely necessary. And our obsession with not talking about money makes this harder. This is still a work in progress.
What am I most enjoying? Being in charge of my time. I can take a walk, or head to the pool whenever I wish. I can book travel that takes us away from home for a month at a time. Things I couldn't do when I was working. It has taken a couple of years, but I have replaced the social network of work colleagues, with friends and neighbors. I have time to explore my creative interests. I have time to stroll through museums - one of the great joys of living in the DC area is access to world class museums. I can check out a bag of books from my local library, and read all I want (74 books so far this year.) I have time to play in the kitchen, allowing yeast to rise, pickles to ferment, roasts and stews to slow cook for hours. I enjoy it. Cooking is not something I need to do efficiently at the end of a long day of devotion to duty.
At best, I have maybe 20 more years to do this, if I hit the national average life my life expectancy is closer to 10 years. I will focus not on the years in my life, but the life in my years.
There's got to be something about age and retiring. I can remember family members of mine that retired early, and they are no longer here. Yet family members including my mother who retired and normally age and still work or volunteer part time are still here and going strong. Search me.
ReplyDeleteSome basics of taking care of our health, can make a big difference in how long we live. My grandfather didn't and died with a dementia that was in part caused by decades of uncontrolled high blood pressure.
DeleteAlthough I had a successful career, I was never wedded to it and have never missed working and rarely talk with new friends about what I “used to do.” SG has had more of a challenge. He still misses I think being in a position of authority and the ego strokes that went with that.
ReplyDeleteAnd the cats really don't respect authority.
DeleteThis is an interesting and honest evaluation of where you are at and I appreciate your last sentence very much - "I will focus not on the years in my life, but the life in my years".
ReplyDeleteLife is fun, as long as it is.
DeleteI love your last statement too. It really resonates with me as I am in the same position as you. Two years retired and sometimes worrying about spending money. When I read something historical that would have augmented what I taught in the classroom, I get a bit of nostalgia for my teaching years. I loved being a teacher, but I have accepted the fact that the working chapter of my life is now in the past. I do enjoy the freedom of being retired and not having to worry about the daily grind of going to work.
ReplyDeleteAt my age, take the saving total, divide by 20, I should spend that much each year, or I will leave too much behind.
DeleteI've said it before and I'll say it again -- retirement is the best part of my entire life!
ReplyDeleteI agree.
DeleteI think as long as you stay physically and mentally active, retirement can be enjoyable; it's the sedentary lifestyle that is the problem.
ReplyDeleteMy father lived to 91, and kept active and volunteered at the local aquarium. It was only the last few years of his life that his health started to fail.
I think you have a good plan and a good outlook on retirement and aging and such.
Researchers say that the last 3 to 5 years most people experience a lot of health challenges.
DeleteIt's always wise to focus on the life in your years. It helps you stay young.
ReplyDeleteYoung in my brain, now if my legs and back would agree.
DeleteThoughtful and thought-provoking (and a cute pic of you; those glasses look so good on you). I don't think I have the identity problem, though I do think of myself as a retired college professor. My initial and unrealistic "agenda" for retirement has finally settled into "I do what I feel like doing" (which admittedly involves sleeping a lot). I dunno, I think I've largely stopped worrying about what I should be doing, and that's a good thing, I think.
ReplyDeleteEnjoying each day, is what we should be doing, and ignoring how the kitchen towels are folded as long as they are folded.
DeleteI've always been tight with my money. My parents had to go into assisted living and then nursing homes for several years before they died and that took a LOT of money.. My brother, who is a year older than me, has dementia now and so those are reasons I want to make sure I can afford that situation if it happens to me.
ReplyDeleteIt is complicated, but please do enjoy along the way. Angus in St Andrews just wrote about a group of cancer patients taking their first trip to Europe, now that they think they are going to die.
DeleteI recall my grandparent on my mother side. Since I was part of the last set of Grandkids. (They had 26 of us and I was the 24th one) I seem more active then.
ReplyDelete26 grandchildren - oh my. My father's parents had 5 grandchildren, my mother's only 4.
DeleteThe life in your years is a wise way to think. I am trying hard to spend money. I've realised I have enough to do what I want, which is not a great deal really. I've heard, mainly from YouTubers that Americans who spend some time in Australia, and to a lesser extend British people, see the Australian identity is much less tied to their work, and have a better life/work balance. For a couple of months after I retired, I remember missing my work colleagues, but that didn't last long and I've forgotten the names of so many now. I rarely think of work now.
ReplyDeleteMuch of the world has a better work life balance than the USA.
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