Friday, December 16, 2016

Update From Florida


I was in Florida last weekend visiting family and checking on Mom and Dad. I was last there in September.  

My siblings are doing well.  My sister and brother-in-law continue to labor tirelessly as caregivers for my Parents.  Without Karen and Pete, Mom and Dad would be unable to remain home where they wish to be.  My oldest brother has decided on a career change, he signed up for Medicare this fall as he turned 65 and discovered that most of the people selling Medicare supplemental insurance were not well informed, he can do a better job, and the company has offered him a job, he is in the process of obtaining the needed licenses. It has been about a year since he left his last IT job, I am glad he has found a new direction and I think he will be good at it, it is a good match for the way his brain works.  My middle brother came over for a visit on Saturday.  The Rat (as in Micky Mouse) has been busy, he has worked a ton of overtime.  He is making good choices about what he wants to do, and not letting others make the choices for him - very good.  

Mom is unbelievably thin and frail.  Her skin is breaking down.  She says little, and little of what she says makes any sense.  Blitz (the wonder dog) was barking at something and Mom shouted at him, "Quiet Down and Get Back Here," it was the only complete and logical sentence she said in the couple of days I was there, her face lit up with a look of utter amazement that she had pulled together a statement that everyone, including the dog, understood.  She sleeps most of the time, some days she does not get out of bed at all.  

Dad had a bad fall three weeks ago, and is in pain, but won't say anything unless you really dig in with questions.  The doctors believe his cancer is metastasizing. He uses a walker and we remind him to ask for help if he is not feeling up to it.  

Both of them are receiving care at home through hospice.  Our goal is to keep them comfortable at home, and as happy as possible.  

I bought the two of them a giant bag full of good chocolates, and encouraged them to eat all they want.  

I will go back in January, sooner if needed.  It is increasingly difficult to go and visit, leaving each time with full knowledge that this might be the last time I see them alive, and then going back again a few weeks later and repeating the process.  




6 comments:

  1. :(
    home hospice care works wonders; my late FIL used it 11 years ago.
    {{{{{hugs}}}}} to you.

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  2. This must be a very difficult time for you. Thank goodness for your sister and brother- in-law. My brother and sister-in-law performed a similar function my my Mother six years ago. Even though caring for her became very difficult during the last six months of her life (the hardly got any sleep) they were able to keep her st their home with hospice care and out of a nursing home facillty. We promised her we would and we did.
    Take care David.
    Ron

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  3. You are obviously a loving and much loved son.
    JP

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  4. Oh, what an ordeal for them and the entire family. What a blessing that your brother and sister-in-law are there and willing (and able) to do so much. Good for you for buying them chocolates! About 2 months before my mother died, as she was leaving her doctor's office, he offered her a piece of chocolate. She said, "Oh, I shouldn't." He said, "How old are you?" She said, "89." He said, "What you SHOULD do is anything you want."

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  5. I am planning my next trip back in January as well. Looks like I'll be going a lot more in the coming year. I'm sitting on a tarmac in Ontario CA right now as plane refuels and waits out a storm in San Diego. It was hard to leave.

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  6. I too feel such when I interact with my parents, 'who are in decline'.

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