Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Honestly

I was recently in Florida for a few days visiting my frail parents, and honestly I think the inmates have taken over the asylum. 

Now Florida has never been the sanest place on the earth.  Few people in their right minds would choose to voluntarily live in a mosquito infested swamp, on a giant sandbar hanging like a bull scrotum from the lower 48 states. There are two kinds of swamp land in Florida, high swamp land - that is the stuff maybe 50 feet above sea level, and low swampland - pretty much the majority of the state; but Florida is all swamp land.  The highest point on the land mass in Florida is barely taller than the building I live near Washington DC, in fact the hill my building sets on, is nearly as tall as the tallest mountain in Florida.  I have climbed Mt Dora - when do I get my congressional medal?  


If not for the invention of air conditioning only a few foolhardy swamp rats would live in Florida.  Now air conditioning seems to attract New Yorkers, and Mid Westerners in very high numbers.  Turning it down to stun, reminds them of Christmas back home, except Christmas back home didn't feature roaches two inches long that can fly and alligators who can't fly, but can eat a poodle in 3 seconds flat. And yet there are more yappy little alligator magnets than you can shake a stick at running around this state.  

I think the combination of the heat, humidity and brain-freezing air conditioning has negatively impacted the population, just look at the robber barons they have elected to run state government.  When I was here in high school here in Florida, the mother of a friend looked me square in the eyes and said, there are two kinds of Yankees,  Yankees who come down here on vacation, get drunk, spend of lot money and keep Florida green, and damned Yankees, they move here.  The Yankees have taken over.  

5 comments:

  1. My immediate reaction when I saw that picture was - she must be crazy.
    JP

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  2. UGH, looks like one o them thar duck dynasty freaks! went to FLA once in 1978; hated it and never went back.

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  3. When I lived there i called it Flori-duh!

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  4. Excellent post David! I was only in Florida once, too humid! Couldn't live there at all, even in winter, thank you.

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  5. Florida: the more North you go the more South you are.

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